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 SEATTLE V. CLEVELAND (3 v. 6, yes sadly that was the true score)

If you heard about this game I am sorry that this stinker even had to be processed by your ear drums, however my true apologies lie with anyone else who had to watch this game. Why did I? Well one of my starting fantasy back, Peyton Hills, was have his vag rejuvenation surgery and so I was forced to play his back-up to see how we would do in Hillis’ stead. While it was a relatively solid performance by Hardesty (the aforementioned Hillis back-up) in that he went 95 yards on 33 carries the game itself was atrocious, the watching of which is a fate I would wish on no one and was probably the worst football game I’ve seen since the infamous “mud-bowl” where the score ended up being 3-0. And don’t get me wrong I love defense as much as the next person, but this wasn’t a defensive showcase, this was just an awful team v. awful team trademark crap-tastique performance.

ATLANTA v. DETROIT (23 v. 16)

In the battle of perennial hype up team v. newcomer hype up team (or as George Washington Duke would put, it old lion against new lion…except here both lions are only kings of the hype of jungle), Atlanta trying to stay the course and turn around their already disappointing season (relax Atlanta, its not even the playoffs yet) when they took on the Lions at Ford Field. The result? A back and forth contest which saw Atlanta, despite their defense doing all they could to blow the game, come out and ride Michael Turner to victory. If this game teaches us anything thing is that while the youth might have the physical gifts, experience trumps all…at least when it comes to being a hype up team that will always lose to any legitimate contender and disappoint their fan-base when they expect it least.

Houston v. Tennessee (41 v. 7)

Ouch, I actually thought Houston was in for a close game, especially with the Titans coming off the bye. I guess I must have forgot that their quarterback is a 167 years old, they lost their best WR, and Chris Johnson is still drinking Banana Daquris in witness protection. But even with those factors, given Houston’s lack of Andre Johnson, Shaub’s chronic streaky play and that they were playing on the road, I never would have guessed that they would have ran over Tennessee the way they did. Either Chris Johnson pulls a Christmas Day Grinch move, has his heart grow three sizes and he returns Tennessee’s check so they can go out and get some play-makers or the Titans are in for an up and down next few seasons that will inevitably end badly and at least two more players chucking their equipment in the stands, flipped-birds galore and some more punched out strip club owners.

Denver v. Miami (18 v. 15)

While the Bible-Belt and other fundamental Christians across America will have you believe that Tim Tebow’s come back over Miami was some kind of divine miracle, I like to think of it more as a mathematical certainty. I’m sorry but when you have a team that is winless, plays terrible, starts a player that’s goal is to get thrown out by halftime, has the worst home losing streak in the game and a coach that’s filling out his unemployment and/or W2s on the sidelines during the game the outcome here is merely the summed result of all these factors. In fact, the only miracle was that Miami was even leading at any point during this game.  Even the 0-16 Lions from a couple years back showed way more grit then this Dolphins team. This team is the sports equivalent of the Wizard of Oz’s loveable Tin-Man except that they aren’t lovable and there are 52 of them. I here they went out and signed J.P. Losman this week, and wow if that isn’t the biggest white flag of the season I don’t know what is. They might as well have Tony Sparano playing QB, God knows he isn’t working out as coach.

SAN DIEGO v. NY JETS (21 v. 27)

I keep waiting for Philip Rivers and the Chargers (but mainly Philip Rivers because he’s my fantasy QB) to turn it around and show me that they are capable of winning a game without their opposing team losing it to them. Yes I know even with this loss the team is 4-2, but they look terrible and are totally out of sync  and the team they fielded last year that missed the playoffs, looked much more impressive then this squad. I don’t know what’s wrong with Rivers and the offense, but if they don’t get their act together they will find themselves bounced from the playoffs early in the best case scenario and in the worst case scenario KC rallies and they finish third in the division behind the Raiders and KC and thus miss the playoffs completely. Again I’m hoping they turn it around because of Rivers, but if you are actually a San Diego fan you have some serious cause for concern despite the record. This team is the NFL equivalent of Nicolai Valuev and no one with any sense can have any fairth in them at this point.

Chi-town v. Tampa Bay (24-18)

If you figured that Tampa can’t win anywhere except home and that this game was being played in London and thus bet hard against them, congrats, I hope you won money like me. Unfortunately the only person who seems to be out of money right now is Matt Forte, who is the most spectacular RB in the game right now, outplayed his current contract 6 games ago and is basically playing hard until he gets hurt so that the Bears can give him the shaft financially (or in the case he’s really hurt bad, show him the door). I know it goes against everything the NFL stands for, but if I was Forte I would sit my ass on the bench and refuse to play until I got a fair deal with some serious guaranteed money. Yes this might be considered dirty to do once the season starts, but if Forte gets hurts he is going to get pennies on the dollar for what he is worth to his team right now and is the BS-one-way media going who will no doubt turn on him if he were to get hurt be there with a check? Are the fans? Are the fantasy owners? The answer is plain and simple, no. The Bears as a franshise especially do not give two shits about loyalty or being fair which is why they cut Tommy Harris when he complained about playing time and his deal and asked for a trade, which is why they refuse to pay Lance Briggs what he deserves and which is why they are refusing to pay Forte his due despite the fact that he accounts for over 50% of their offensive plays. No fuck that, if I’m Forte I sit because I’ve already given the Bears fantastic value for their money since I have come in the league and are the main reason for their success over the years, at least on the offensive side of the ball given their suspect QB-ing and non-existant WRs. PAY ME OR I SIT.

WASHINGTON v. CAROLINA (20 v. 33)

The Redskins not only continue their slide down the standings (which is fine by me because I am a Cowboys fan), but they also continue to lose their best offensive players. And while their team’s best offensive players aren’t stars to begin with, they have worked well together this year to out-shoot everyone’s expectations…at least until now. And while out-shooting expectations is hard enough, losing your starting RB, your starting and best WR, your starting and former pro-bowl TE and having your former starting QB who is a joke to begin with , turning into an even bigger one, well I mean no team can overcome that (especially again if you’re playing over your head to begin with).

KC v. Oakland (28 v. 20)

Another ouch game. I never knew a team could be so impressive one week and so unimpressive the next. Yes I know in a game where your QBs combine to throw 6 picks is a recipe for disaster, but to not even get 3 points on the Chiefs at home is downright disgraceful. Hopefully for the Raiders McFadden gets on the field soon, their young receiving core continues to improve and Carson Palmer remembers how to play football again, but until then the good times in Oakland are finished.

Pittsburgh v. Arizona (32 v. 20)

If you bet on Pittsburgh in this one I bet you’re happy. If you bet on Arizona I bet you are not. Ok enough, but seriously the line in this game couldn’t have been high enough because Arizona stinks. In fact they just don’t stink, they wreak. Pittsburgh who is in playoff mode already after a slow start has come on hard and they absolutely rolled over Arizona. I don’t care what the score says these teams are nowhere near as close both in terms of this game and going forward as franchises. I don’t know what Arizona was thinking getting rid of Leinhart because at least they would have had a young guy cutting his teeth in a system he knows. Kolb is brutal and I’m shocked Larry Fitzgerald hasn’t joined Chris Johnson in witness protection with the crap they have been giving him over the last while. Poor Larry….but wait, no nevermind, I just remember they also handed him a 125 million dollar plus contract as well. For that money they could have Chris Johnson take a dump on Larry and he should still smile and call it ice cream…although his team still is a pile of shit. Beanie’s gone for a while too I hear so, I hope they got their winter tires on.

St. Louis v. Dallas (7 v. 34)

Even though I am a huge Cowboys fan I thought the line going into this game was entirely too high. At +13 I thought the Rams were a lock to cover the spread given the fact that Dallas’ defensive back can’t cover anybody, they blow leads like you or I blow our nose and they have an eleven game streak in which their games have been decided by 4 points or less. In the end? Streak begone! How did the Cowboys crush the Rams and the corresponding spread? Well much like the Joker’s pharmaceutical products (the Jack Nicholson one), it was a combination of things that made them lethal. First, the Rams who are bad enough, were playing without Sam Bradford and Danny Aremndola (gone for the season) plus Steven Jackson was banged up (as usual). In addition, Dallas played shut down defense the entire game (I can’t believe I just wrote that) and didn’t even let St. Louis score a meaningless touchdown to close the game (If these trends continue, ehhhhh…..). However, the biggest thing going for the Cowboys was Demarrco Murray and the explosive and setting game he had. I actually managed to benefit form this performance because of Peyton Hillis’ aforementioned vaginal rejuvenation surgery, Felix Jones who was out with injury (thank goodness) and my zero confidence in Tashard Choice. Dallas finally after many seasons now, seemed to have a competent running game which they can not only use to run up the score (pun intended), but also to take the pressure off Tony Romo and run out the clock when they are ahead (pun intended also). Although I like Felix Jones because he is a Cowboy after all, I hope Dallas keeps him on the bench as long as possible and really give Demarco Murray a legitimate shot. It was a long and painful search to find replacements for Troy Aikman and Michael Irvin (in Tony Romo and Dez Bryant respectively), hopefully now they’ve finally found one for Emmitt Smith.

Green Bay v. Minny (33 v. 27)

While I was shocked Dallas covered the spread, I was more shocked that Green Bay didn’t. This game although on the road, was waiting for them to continue their streak of blowing out opponent. However, much to the dismay of myself and other gamblers, the Vikings actually showed some signs of life now that the human mole Donovan McNabb was removed from their posterior. Hopefully, Green Bay can get back to their winning ways after the bye because daddy needs a new pair of everything.

Indy v. New Orleans.

The beating of the year without question. The silver lining for the Colts? Well they can pull a San Antonio, and snake Andrew Luck in this year’s draft and have their franchise set for the next 15 years (of course ala the Spurs and Tim Duncan). Can they do it? I don’t know but I’m gonna find out (Rounders is still too pimp and has taken over the all-time guy movie crown from Scarface).

Baltimore v. Jax

Wow and in the upset of the week Baltimore loses to Jacksonville. I don’t know what’s wrong with Ray Lewis’ squad, but if he doesn’t find a way for his team to be more consistent and stop getting beat by these terrible teams he is going to end up eating egg noodles and ketchup like an average nobody and  live the rest of his life as schnook (I am sorry Rounders but I forgot about my beloved Goodfellas).
WEEK 8 PICKS

GOLD:  Dallas + 3.5 over Philly in Philly. This is a total statement game for Dallas and Philly like Asante says, is a pure fantasy team with less chemistry then Johnny Depp and Angelina in their cash grab Tourist movie a few months back. Even if Philly eeks out a win it won’t be for 4 or more.

SILVER: Detroit -3 over Broncos in Denver. As over hyped as Detroit is, no way they lose three in a row and to Denver, the spread is low and Denver just won a miracle game against Miami, no way they pull off another big win.

Bronze: Washington +6 v. the Bills. Although the Skins are going downhill fast they should still have enough players and good coaching to beat the Bills, who appear to know the jig is up on their Cinderella season, and if they don’t, well no offense but they are not beating the Skins who still have a solid defense by more than 6..but I have been wrong before so please gamble responsibly.

Alright, here are my thoughts for the NFL’s Week 6. Some teams won, others lost…it’s a zero-sum game people what do you want from me. Just a quick announcement before I get to my thought, next week I’m going to feature a section where I give my thoughts on things I don’t think people are giving attention to, too much attention to or not the right amount of attention to (I know that makes no sense right now, but please stay tuned). In any event here are my thoughts….

Carolina v. Atlanta (17 v. 31)

And Cam Newton loses another game, qu’elle suprise (which is French for what a surprise). Yes I know I said I would give him a shot for a year, but if he’s doing Deion Sanders’ highstep shuffle after TDs he be ready for some criticism, which I will gladly serve up. I will continue to monitor him over the next couple of weeks and if he continues to showboat whilst also losing games and the press continues to slurps him any harder, well that’s all I can stand ;til I can’t stands no more.

As for Atlanta, don’t be fooled by the box score and think that Atlanta is back to its fake contending ways. This two touchdown win, involved zero running game from Carolina, Atlanta playing at home and Michael Turner having the game of his life (or at least the best he’s had in 2 seasons). Do not be fooled by the 4 headed fake contenders monster of Atlanta, Tampa, KC and Houston. Ever. That’s just a rule, and I know KC sucks this year, but they’ll be back fake contending next year.

Indy v. Cinncy (17 v. 27)

This Cincy turnaround is all Andy Dalton and I am shocked that he is not getting more exposure and Dap, for how he has this terrible franchise sitting 2 games over .500 when most people (including myself) had them amongst the worst teams in the NFL going into the season. Not only has Dalton found a way to bring out the best in his teammates, he manages the game tremendously for a rookie and always finds a way to win games late for his squad. You might call him the Anti-Cam Newton or Mark Sanchez 2.0. Seriously he is without question the rookie of the year thus far in the NFL…I could give too shits about Newton’s numbers, Dalton gets it done.

As for Indy what can you say really, it has been imploding faster than a dying star since Peyton was lost for the season (yes I meant to write that) and each loss strengthens my argument that the MVP should be given to Peyton Manning every year retroactively for every year he didn’t win it. His teammates all look terrible without him (including Reggie Wayne and Dallas Clark) and his coach even worse.

San Fran v. Detroit (25 v. 19)

While I still don’t consider either of these team legitimate contenders (and since Manning/the Colts went down, and Pittsburgh is off its tracks a little bit,  the only real supreme contenders are Green Bay and New England anyway), this was a game to see which team could be taken more seriously. Well when the final whistle blew the answer was San Fran, although given that their franchised is attached to a historically shakey Alex Smith until they beat a more solid team on the road, I will not be convinced. If they can pull off a win against Green Bay, New England, Baltimore or Pittsburgh then come talk to me. Until then they and Detroit will still be the Donnie Brasco’s for the Fake Contender 4 (i.e. being proposed for membership, but not quite there).

As for the talk of the NFL which was the fight afterward, I was just hoping that the Whoa whoa whoa San Fran guy hadn’t gotten in the way and someone actually threw a punch. Harbaugh’s bad sports karma is already reaching Bill Belichek levels and its only his first year. He better help build some homes in Honduras or start reading at the homeless shelter before his spleen explodes at the NFC championship game.

St. Louis v. Green Bay (3 v. 24)

You know you’ve got your swagger going full-tilt when you blow out a hapless and defenseless (literally) team at home and your Quarterback who just finished winning a Superbowl last season, says that he was thursting for a better win. Green Bay is firing on all cylinders right now, but they are firing so well that you just get this weird feeling that something bad is about to happen. Although they won the Superbowl last year as the 6^th seed, with 15 guys on IR so they can probably overcome whatever dark cloud hangs over them.

As for St. Louis, they better cover the spread this week against Dallas. Dallas hasn’t beat anyone by 10 to 13 points (depending on what spread you get) since Eisenhower, so while I am hoping for a Dallas win, here’s hoping that the hapless Rams can at least find a way not to lose by more then 10-13..which again, is totally probable.

Buffalo v. Giants (24 v. 27)

The Giants get a big win when they needed it most, and it was a good win after their implosion at home against the Seahawks last weeks. I don’t know how many people were booted from their suicide pool when the Rams beat the Giants, but I do know one…my buddy ry, sorry guy.

As for the Bills the luster on their improbable season is fading faster then my interest in Jersey Shore. And if you’ve seen the steamer of a season Jersey Shore offered up this fall you know this is not good (seriously I never thought a season which didn’t have Ronnie and Sammi fighting and making me want to rip my hair out, could be this boring…might be time to find some new Guidos and Guidettes…I say start by replacing Vinnie, he offers nothing).

Jax v. Pittsburgh (13 v. 17)

The only thing that troubles me about this game other than losing the “under on this game(which was at 40)” is that Pittsburgh didn’t blow this team out at home and was in a position to even lose it in the 4^th. The Steelers I know would have totally dismantled a terrible Jaguarsa team which have no playmakers (other then MJD who was MIA in this one) and a new scarecrow of a QB playing at QB. This game should have been 42-3 minimum.

Philadelphia v. Washington (20-13)

While things are better in West Philadelphia, these still appear to be the ‘End of Days’ for Andy Reid’s tenure and this overhyped Eagles team .Despite playing on the road, they were playing a team in which Rex Grossman did everything he could to lose this game for his team except for pulling of an Ak-47 and going medieval on his own teammates. I have never seen a worse redzone performance in my life by a QB. EVER. The guy through 3 picks inside the redzone (and another on top of that somewhere else) and the Eagles ONLY won by 7!!! Even if the Eagles kicked field goals on these picks they would have won this game despite Grossman’s latest greatest meltdown.

On the plus side for the Skins they are a lock to cover the +3 spread against Carolina so grab it if you can because that is smoooooth Sammy’s pick of the Week. Now that Grossman is benched the run game and defense alone can cover the spread against Carolina.

Cleveland v.Oakland (17 v. 24)

The post-Al Davis all amnesia love fest continues in Oakland, and the Raiders actually played a solid game. They are futures however are now tied to the arm of Carson Palmer, but while most people hate this deal for the Raiders, I actually really like it. Palmer no matter is drop off, was a probowl QB capable of bringing out the best of his teammates and if that dirty ass Steeler didn’t purposely go low on Plamer in 2005, the Bengals probably would have gone to the Superbowl and had a few solid seasons instead of just a couple. Even if there is even 60 percent left in Palmer’s tank I will take that over whatever is in Jason Campbell’s tank. Palmer’s got some really good playmakers on offense and the defense even with the lose of Asmougha is better than most, so if they have a real shot the rest of the way of making the playoffs and even snaking the division away from the Chargers.

Cleveland better find a way to keep Hillis happy, although he’s been playing like a trick this season and better get his act together before the Browns bench  him and he’s left with a horrible contract situation league wide next season.

Houston v. Baltimore (14 v. 29)

Soild win by Baltimore top to bottom, and the way the Ravens have been playing this season I was surprised Houston even put up 14 without Andre Johnson in the line-up and Matt Shaub just waiting for a big injury (but he always looks like that).

New Orleans v. Tampa Bay (20 v. 26)

I only had one question about this game, and it was how in the World did the Saints lose this game??!?? Yes Tampa was playing at home and desperate for a win after their 45 point blow out loss in San Fran last week, but seriously how did the Saints manage to lose to this fake ass hype up team in an important divisional game???!? Oh wait why am I asking when I know, their man-boy genius coach was lost on account of the most devastating and flukiest side-line injury probably seen in a 100 years and Drew Brees continues to play like he snorted Brett Favres ashes and throw costly picks at the worst possible times (Favre’s not dead yet? My bad). Seriously if the Saints ever want people to take them as serious Super Bowl contenders again, Drew Brees needs to find a way to stop with these terrible and abundant picks (he’s had 8 in 4 games, and all seemingly at the most critical junctures).

Dallas v. New England (13-17)

Ohh my beloved Cowboys what a valiant effort you put forth. You were taking it to the Golden Boy and the Patriots, despite no run game, a shaky offensive line, conservative and shaky play calling by Jason Garrett and an even shakier confidence on the part of Tony Romo (understandably jumpy after his suspect picks the last few weeks) and were leading the Patriots with 13-10 with under three minutes to go. What happened? Well you gave Tom Brady the ball WITH UNDER THREE MINUTES TO GO!!!! And if that wasn’t bad enough Dallas’ decided to call off its pass rush and play prevent, which actually prevents nothing on the regular and especially against a guy like Brady. If we have learned anything about the Patriots since the Giants beat them in the Superbowl in 2007, is that the only way to beat Tom Brady is by getting in his grill and getting him off his game. Every team that has beaten him in the playoffs and/or a big game since then has employed some type of frustrating pass rush. Instead of doing what it did last Sunday Dallas was better off letting Tom Brady score before the 2 minute warning, getting the ball back right then and allowing Tony Romo, who is another fantastic QB with 2 minutes or under to go, a shot at winning the game.

The silver lining for Dallas is that they get the Rams at home and the bye coupled with this solid performance against the Pats has gotten some of the stink and pressure off Tony Romo and the rest of the Cowboys. While I don’t think they will cover the spread (-13), they have an excellent shot of at least beating the Rams and getting back to .500 with a few winnable games to go.

Minnesota v. Chicago (10 v. 39)

I hope you bet large on this game like I did because not only was the under waaaayyyy too low (40 pts), Chicago was a lock to cover the spread which was tremendously undervaluing them. Yes the Bears had offensive line problems and were coming off a tough loss, but they still have a quality run game, decent defense , explosive special teams, an above average QB and of course, they were playing the Vikings who, except for Jared Allen and a disgruntled Adrian Peterson, have nothing. Actually they have less than nothing because Leslie Frazier is perhaps the worst coach in football right now.

Miami v. NY Jets (6 v. 24)

If you thought the Eagles were a team desperate for a win, they had nothing on the NY Jets. Yes the Eagles were the “Dream Team” going into the season, but Rex Ryan has been running his mouth for 3 years now and a team who got all the way to the AFC championship game the last two years was looking at a 2-4 start in a year that was make or break for their franchise QB. If the Jets lost this one, and in the division they are in, you could rest assured that they were out of the playoffs, especially with all the other AFC teams blowing up around them. Want more justification for why the Jets were desperate? Well the Jets haven’t just been underperforming, they have been finding ways to get this asses kicked by other AFC squads like the Raiders and Ravens, so if they lost another one, especially to the terrible Dolphins and after all their boasting, you can rest assured that they would have been the laughing stock of the NFL.

PICK TIME

New segment. I am going to be providing my top three picks against the spread each week from here on out. Happy birthday to all you gamblers out there.

Gold Pick: Bears +1 over Tampa Bay – Not only is Tampa overrated, coming off a big win (and being the fake team that they are destined to lose after that), and missing their top Running Back, but their “home game” is actually being played in England and Tampa has been atrocious playing anywhere but home. This one has Bears written all over it.

Silver Pick: Rams +13 over Cowboys- Again, while Dallas while probably win this ‘must win game’, Dallas has played in 11 straight games decided by 4 points or less. I have been watching this brand of Cowboys for years now and I can’t remember the last time they just blew out an opponent and especially did so in a game they absolutely had to win. This game is decided by 7 or less.

Bronze Pick: Redskins +3 over Panthers- Yes the Redskins have a new QB playing this week, but this is a rare instance when that is a bonus. The Redskins have been finding ways to win all season even with Grossman at the helm and have produced a surprisingly robust running game and defense. After a tough loss against the Eagles, which again they win easy if Grossman doesn’t throw those redzone picks (THREE OF THEM!!!!), they will be looking to rebound against a Panthers team dying to lose another game.

BONUS PICKS:

Detroit over Atlanta

Denver over Miami- I have no idea how Miami is favoured in this. They are winless, have a new QB, no running game, a short week, a headcase WR who might not play  and have the worst home field advantage in the history of sports. The blessed Tim Tebow should be able to win this one easy, despite his questionable playing style.

Philly v. Buffalo ( 24 v. 31)

And the Eagles epic failures continue as Michael Vick seems determined to become the first NFL QB ever to throw 10 picks in a game. Not only that but Andy Reid seems determined to be the first NFL coach ever to use up all his challenges in the first 14 seconds of a game. In sum, this was not only a poor showing  by the Eagles, it was an across the board terrible performance, from the Offensive line, to the QB play, to the Play in the secondary (apparently Nmandi Asomugha has joined Chris Johnson in witness protection), to the run game, to coaching, to everything . It was a truly horrendous performance by the Eagles and with the possible exception of Vince Young lifting and throwing Andy Reid into the crowd well pronouncing that he only wins for himself with Brigiette Neilson cheering him on or Ronnie Brown throwing his jockstrap (with his nuts still inside) on the goal-line I cannot envision a worse scenario. And while I am not still sold on Buffalo and their ability to consistently beat good teams (Baltimore, New Orleans, Green Bay etc.), they will probably get into the playoffs as a wildcard, while the Eagles at 1-4 playing in the best division in all of professional sports with every other team at .500 or better I cannot see them getting in this year.

KC v. Indy (28 v. 24)

Yes, after getting beat badly, losing questionably and losing a ton of key playmakers on both sides of the ball, KC gets back-to-back probably for the last time until 2022. As for Colts fans, I don’t know what everyone is talking about, this losing streak is the best thing that could happen to this team. Look I am a huge Peyton Manning fan and still think that the MVP award should be retroactively awarded to Manning every year he did not win it in the last 15 years (because we are obviously seeing the consequences of a sans-Manning Colts squad), but with the kind of mysterious and mysteriously hard to cure ailment he has, which is extremely career threatening, we might have already seen the best from Manning and probably the last of him. Why is this good for the Colts? Well obviously unless you are sporting a vagina and/or are not into sports you know that Andrew Luck is coming out this year, and he is probably the most highly regarded and talked NFL QB prospect in a long while. It should not just be “Suck for Luck”, but “Suck like a Dyson Vac for Luck”….especially with the weak QB prospects surrounding the NFL (there is a reason why Tavaris Jackson currently starts on an NFL team).

Arizona v. Minny ( 10v. 34)

I will admit I had this wrong, and actually bet that the Cardinals after a close and hard fought battle against the NFC leading Giants would actually cowboy up and take out their frustrations against the hapless and winless Vikings who currently sport as their head coach, the worst head coach in all of football. Well, needless to say I was wrong, as the Cardinals proved that they are indeed the undisputedly the most terribly unreliable team in all of the NFL and that they shouldn’t be counted on for anything because they can fuck up a cup of coffee like no one else. Jared Allen and Adrian Peterson, strapped their team on their backs and had this team beat within 15 minutes of this game.

Tennessee v. Pittsburgh (17 v. 38)

Classic overrated team versus underrated team with sexy results. Or at least results that should be expected. The Titans formula for success seems tough enough as it is with a new coach, new and perhaps over the hill QB, lose of their start WR for the season, without Chris Johnson occasionally checking in from witness protection to offer his team 2.88 years per carry on the ground.  Pittsburgh needed a win like no other team in the NFL save maybe the Eagles, but the difference is that they execute on offensive, defense and special teams to make sure that unlike the Eagles, they were going to get it.

New Orleans v. Carolina (30 v. 27)

Carolina must be the only team in the history of the NFL where losing at home is not only consistent and accepted, but impressive as well. Why? Well Cam Newton of course. Like I said last week I said that I will give Cam Newton until next season to start getting wins before I criticize him for the lack their off, so other then that there were some solid flashes of brilliance and impressive plays from scrimmage so good on him. Hopefully these flashy, eye grabbing and ultra-athletic plays by Newton translate into some solid and momentum building wins in coming seasons. New Orleans again look great for their part, but this team is going to have to learn how to play defense at some point.

Cincy v. Jax (30 v. 20)

The Bengals who were supposed to be as terrible as the Jags found out two things on Sunday. The first is that they are better than most people expected (especially with Andy Dalton’s quite, but surprisingly efficient play) and second that the Jags really are as terrible as they look and are in fact much worse. Who would have thought cutting your franchise QB hours before the season is set to kick off, having a coach who appears to have been unfrozen along with Brendan Frasier in Encino Man and no other real playmakers on either side of the ball other then MJD, would have a season this bad. WAIT EVERYONE KNEW THAT!!!??!!!!!!

OAK v. HOUSTON (25-20)

OAK was able to capitalize on a Houston team that was without its best player (Andre Johnson) and ride a wave of emotion with the passing of their owner into an impressive road win. What does it mean in the long run? Well that the Raiders having all the forces with them can win, but barely or that Houston is a actually a decent team, will probably still win the AFC South and that if they had Johnson and/or Matt Shaub would not have thrown that terrible pick in the endzone to end the game, that they would have still easily won this game. Good news for the Raiders short term. Good news for Houston long term. Although they still have a long way to go before I take them out of my all hype up club with its perennial members KC, Houston and Atlanta and its new junior members Buffalo, Detroit and San Fran.

Tampa Bay v. San Fran (3 v. 48)

Speaking of the all hype-up club, San Fran screammmms for full membership in this tilt after they pound the travelling bucks at home like they committed a crime (other than being charter members of the all-hype up club). Will they get full membership? Well everyone in the media seems to be on their jock, they have not beaten a real contender, and there is already talk of dynasty after 5 weeks, so all the elements are there, let us see what happens.

San Diego v. Denver (29 v. 24)

San Diego continues its winning ways by climbing its record to 4-1 but does so with most unimpressive and uninspired way and play possible. How is San Diego 4-1, I have no idea because they do not look that great and Rivers looks as terrible as I think I have ever seen him (WHICH IS TERRIBLE BECAUSE HE IS MY STARTING QB IN FANTASY). Hopefully, Antonio Gates will come back and decided to play solid football again, because when he’s in the team looks crisp, they move the ball well and score at will. Without home they looked confused, their offensive stalls and looks lackluster at best and they squeak out games against teams like the Broncos that they would ordinarily throttle. Yes they are 4-1, but they are the worse 4-1 team I think I have ever seen.

NY Jets v. New England (21 v. 30)

Another big loss by the Jets which has some long-time Jets players and associates (namely Joe Namath and Bill Parcells) clammering that maybe Mark Sanchez isn’t the guy who should be under Center for the Jets right now. With all due respect to these guys, I think Sanchez is the guy and has proven that he comes to play when it matters most, which is late in the season. Unfortunately for the Jets they might not even get the chance to play games that matter late if they keep putting up these terrible performances but the one silver lining (if you can call it that) is that at least they didn’t get totally blown out by New England (like they did in their previous games) and were somehow able to keep its explosive offense to only beating them by 9. Maybe it’s a because I bet on this game and managed to bet the Patriots by 7.5 instead of the standard ten that went around which is why I am able to see this as a positive. The Jets need to find their running game stat and need to get their defense together stat 2.

Green Bay v. Atlanta (25 v. 14)

Atlanta continues on its downward spiral as it got beat down by the Packers at home in a game they should have been much more prepared for. After Green Bay whooped this team in the playoffs last year as the 6^th side, you would have thought the Falcons would have shown more grit and tried much harder to exact some revenge and remain in the NFC conversation. Neither appears to have happened. With this beating. I have watched Julio Jones for 5 games now and think he should change his name to ‘Who-lio Jones?”, which is my second favorite NFL nickname after “No-Show Moreno”.

Chicago v. Detroit (24-13)

Well the Calvin Johnson show continues and he continues to look like a superstar among boys (yes the disparity is that glaring). Watching Calvin Johnson I wonder that despite his all-star play for a number of years now, where has this supernatural play of late coming from. The only somewhat comparison I can make to this scenario is when Hot Rod (a super solid transformer) grabbed the Matrix of leadership off Galvatron’s neck, opened it and became Rodimus Prime. Hmm Given that Calvin Johnson is Megatron (Galvatron’s Predecessor and former self) this analogy could be somewhat apt. Although not really. They are both Transformer related though so I’m sticking with it. Tired of Transformer analogies? Well too bad because Detroit’s defensive front is totally the Constructicons (sp?) and working together they are devastating like no other and hence they are the NFL’s version of Devestator. Yes my mind is that warped.

As for the Bears well despite the Henny Penney’s and all the rest who are predicting the demise for this team there are some bright spots and I don’t think this team is nearly as bad as most people think. Don’t get me wrong, unless they fix their problems on the offensive line they will be questionable at best against any decent team they face all season, but should they fix that they could maybe make a run at the wildcard, although two teams from the NFC East are probably taking those spots so who knows. So while they have some issues, at -3 they seem to have a great shot at taking out the Vikings at home, and that is smooth Sammy’s pick of the week.

My apologies for not writing more but given that I only have 60 minutes to get through this entry it makes sense that I focus on the recap and not the apology/flimsy excuses right? While I can’t cover all the games, I will do my best to cover the important points and the important games….

 WEEK 2

KANSAS CITY v. DETROIT

I knew I had Kansas City (the others are Atlanta, Tampa Bay and Houston) as one of my four hype-up/overhyped teams for a reason, but no one has been pounded this hard at home since Lindsay Lohan’s stint on house arrest….yes I know the Lions were at home, but I couldn’t waste the line.

OAKLAND v. BUFFALO

Nice to see Buffalo at 2-0, McFadden has got some wheels on him and unless Big Ol’ Al Davis finds a way to fuck it up, he’s a lock for AFC Offensive Player now that Chris Johnson has gone into witness protection.

TAMPA BAY v. MINNESOTA

Tampa is able to build on its hype up status by coming back against a terrible choking Vikings team which has now given up leads in two consecutive weeks.

New Orleans v. ChICAGO

No big surprises here, the Saints offensively challenge Bears team who have insisted on leaving Jay Cutler out to twist in the wind. The only bright spot on the Bears is Forte and he’s unhappy with is contract. Her Martz and Bears brass, PAY THAT MAN HIS MONEY!

BALTIMORE v. TENNESSE

Wow huge win by the Titans, especially after the Ravens throttled the Steelers in Week1. Could the Titans be for real? The win is even more impressive given Chris Johnson’s aforementioned status in Witness Protection.

Cleveland v. Indy

Cleveland steamed Indy with the run game, and without Peyton Manning the Colts are like a group of turtles on their backs

JAX v. NY JETS

Jets pound the Jags at home, which is no surprise given that the Jags gave up on the season 3 days before the season kicked off by cutting their franchise quarterback to save a couple Fazools.

Seattle v. Pittsburgh

NO, the Steelers didn’t just crush a terrible Seattle team at home who similar to the Jags also gave up on the season when it decided to make Tavaris Jackson its QB instead of going after Carson Palmer. Again no big surprises.

Arizona v. Washington

Gutty win at home by Washington, Washington who is relying on Rex Grossman and Rex Grossman’s bold prediction of winning the NFC East, at 2-0 is on track.

Green Bay v. Carolina

No big surprises here other then the fact that I would have thought GB crushes Carolina by at least 21 and not a meager 7. Still not sold on Newton, has the tools, but is missing that killer winning instinct.

Dallas v. San Fran

Great win by the Cowboys despite their terrible Secondary and even more terrible Offensive line. Seriously when is Uncle Jerry going to take some of that big take some of that big Texas  money and spend it on his O-line so that he can protect the franchise QB?? Last year the season was lost when he took that terrible blindside hit…this year he broke his rib and punctured his lung on the same sort of deal. Come on Jerry, get on the trolley.

Cincy at Denver

Denver wins at home. Whoop.

Houston v. Miami

Houston also builds on its hype-up status by beating up on a Miami team in free fall.

San Diego v. NE

NE continues its dominance by easily beating a team many had representing the AFC in the Superbowl. The Chargers better pray they get Gates back soon, because while they win some games, a Rocky Balboa  real contender they’ll never be.

Philadelphia v. Atlanta

Philly losses to Atlanta and in the process spoils Vick’s home coming (although he actually was a back-up when Philly played at Atlanta some time ago…but shhh don’t spoil it for the lazy writers). Not only did Philly get beat, but Vick predictably shockingly left the game with injury. While this is bad news for Philly, its good news for Vick who by getting injured in game 2, wins the Bob Sanders Mr. Glass Award given to the first guy who you know is going to get injured during the course of a season…wait what Bob Sanders went on the IR already??!?? Well there you have it folks Bob Sanders just Bob Sandered Mickael Vick. Hey they don’t call it the Bob Sanders award for nothing.

St. Louis v.Giants

No real surprises here, an under valued Giants team beat up on an overvalued Rams team hurting with their star RB hurting and their franchise QB regressing.

WEEK 3

NE v. BUFFALO

HUUUUUUGEE shocker (although I actually was going to bet on this one…seriously, you can ask my friend Ry if I was going to bet on Buffalo or not…I just didn’t have my online sports account set up…seriously). NE looked like they were going to run away with this one until Tom Brady decided that he was tired of Greg Easterbrook and 95% of the Sports Media riding his jock, that he decided to give a game away to Buffalo and in so doing quelled early calls/talk about a 16-0 (which is annoying as fuck and should only be banned until a team is 13-0). 

San Fran v. Cincy

I sure hope you bet the under, as a 13-8 win by San Fran is the lowest and weirdest point total I can remember. How do you even get 8 points?

Miami v. Cleveland

Miami continues its freefall by proving that not only can they not win at home, but they hate the road just as much. I haven’t seen a team quit on their coach this badly since the Vikings went from ‘Love Boat’ to ‘Mutiny on the Bounty’ last year.  Peyton Hillis also apparently had his period and was unable to play and nearly sunk my fantasy team until I realized I had his backup on my squad as a handcuff. Man up Hillis.

Denver v. Tennesse.

Chris Johnson continues to give us his best Henry Hill impression (although I believe Hill even got tired of Witness Protection) and showing us how easy it is to disappear with tens of millions of dollars. He is a role model to fugitives everywhere and I applaud him for that. The Titans w/o Johnson however continue to impress and are doing so with Matt Hasselback who many thought was washed up.

Detroit v. Minnesota

Massive comeback for the Lions as they come from 20 down to snake the victory from the win-starved Vikings. I do not think they are for real yet, but  at 7-0  in their last season strectching back to last season, they certainly are not charter members in my all hype-up club (HOUSTON, TB, ATLANTA, KC you know where you at).

Houston v. Saints

Another offensively impressive win by the Saints, who are determined to put up more points and play less defense then anybody who has ever thought of playing football.

Giants v. Philly

Philly gets hammered at home by the Gmen (fuck I wished I had save that Lindsay Lohan line). The Dream-Team cannot catch a break and appears to falling apart faster then a Chinese motorcycle (one love Rodney Dangerfield).

JAX v. Carolina

This week’s who cares game (which is pretty much any Jax game). The only thing of note is that Cam Newton won his first NFL game, and in ten years when he still hasn’t won a title it will be something for him to look back fondly on.

NY Jets v. Oakland

Wow did the Raiders really put the hurt on the Jets this badly?? What is up with the Jets? All that talk and this? To quote Diddy’s boy Mase “I talk a lotta shit, but I back it up there’s a difference…”…true say, and maybe its something big Ol’ Rex needs to remember and take to his hardened artery encased heart.

Baltimore v. St.Louis

Never do anything nice for anyone. Ever. At least that’s my moto after this game. Why? Because just before this game kicked off I had a 25.00 dollar bet on this game for Baltimore to win against the spread and another 25.00 dollar bet on Atlanta  betting the same thing. But just before I was about to hit ‘confirm bet’ I remember that my friend Stef (Stefano) was locked out of his Account so I called him up to see if he wanted any action. He promptly said he wanted me to put 50 on the Ravens for him. Big paid day coming right? Wrong, because by the time I had fixed the bets, I was 1 second over and could no longer place that bet. So what did I do? I put the 25 I was gonna put on the Ravens and put in on the Falcons, and of course the Ravens won huge and Matty Ice and Co. find a way to fuck me out of 50.00 bucks by not being able to beat hype up team TB (although I am partially to blame because I should never have bet on one hype up team being able to beat up another). So there are two lessons learned, never do anything nice for anyone, and never bet on a hype up team to beat another hype up team(never betting on a hype-up team against anyone is a given).

Atlanta v. TB

Cover above. EFFF U ATL!!!!!!!!!!! AND EFF YOU ARTUR BLANK FOR TRYING TO MAKE NFL FANS FEEL SORRY FOR YOU DURING THE VICK SCANDAL WHEN YOU GOT A BETTER FRANCHISE QUARTER BACK AND ARE A FUCKING BILLIONAIRE!!!!!!!

KC v. San Diego

“Back-and-forth, Back-and-Forth, I can’t take it…and end has to be put to this”-KC Underboss Artie Piscano (from Casino) 

KC finds a way to lose in a game that San Diego was trying its best to give away. Seriously, Gates either saw your foot off or retire, you are causing too much stress to my fantasy QB Rivers.

Green Bay v. Chicago

Predictable win by the Superbowl champs. Nothing new of note either, Rodgers keeps rolling, and Chicago is still not paying their best player his money. PAY ALL-DAY FORTE HIS MONEY (That’s right AP until your team wins a game I am jacking your name). Ohh what am I talking about this game featured the best play of the year, although it was called back and I am of course referring to the fake catch and run by Devin Hester which was actually caught and run by Johnny Knox and returned for a touchdown until the refs decided to invent a hold and call the play back. Even if there was a real hold and not a phantom one a play of this fantastic magnitude should be allowed to stand.

Pittsburgh v. Indy

Wow does Pittsburgh look weak right now. While Indy gave a gutty performance, without a running game or passing game Pittsburgh should have trounced the Colts in this one. Their once heralded Run game and Run Defense have stunk in recent weeks.

Washington v. Dallas

Another big week for Tony Romo’s ego, but this one was way to close for comfort. When your offensive line is doing everything they can to lose a game, your corners stink, your QB is hanging on by a thread and one of your top wide-outs is missing this win is a pure combination of luck and grit. And while grit has some staying power, luck can swing on a dime. Next week depending on the line I bet against Dallas.

WEEK 4

Carolina v. Chicago

While I am warming up to Cam Newton, after this game he is still 1-3. However, I will take my own advice and give him the slack all new QBs deserve instead of mercilessly ripping them apart and/or placing these huge and lofty expectations on their shoulders. Therefore, Newton I am giving until nextg year before I start judging you on wins and loss and I will continue to hope that the media and fans give Newton and all other rookie Qbs at least some of the courtesy and understanding that was extended 1^st ballot hall of famers Peyton Manning and Troy Aikman and the like. This was a winnable game for Carolina and hopefully Newton continues to improve…or feel my wrath next season. I will state that Newton being a “mobile” quarterback is a huge red-flag as it is my bold prediction (and has held true for the last 10 years) that no “mobile” quarterback (i.e. better at juking then throwing) can ever win a Superbowl (unless of course the vast majority of teams succumb to this terrible mobile quarterback hype that has infected the league the last 12 years or so).

Buffalo v. Cincy

Wow Buffalo, way to bring your fans and franchise back to earth after all the momentum you had built throughout the season. If Buffalo, Detroit and Tennesse aren’t added to my all hype-up club by seasons end I will be shocked. Totally winnable game Buffalo, you should be ashamed.

Tennessee v. Cleveland

Chris Johnson briefly comes out of witness protection to collect is check, and by that he had a good day on the ground. Will this last, well he is getting some help via the air with Matt Hasselbeck’s continued rejuvenation in Tennessee, but if the laws of “I just got paid” hold up, don’t expect too much from CJ this year and at best he will be 75% of the man he was last year when he wasn’t even close to being the best RB in football (despite his demands to be paid better than one). In other news, Peyton Hillis put away his tampons and decided to play, but only turned in a mediocre effort, getting outplayed and out-fantasy pointed by his back-up Hardesty. This stinks of an in-season contract hold-out and resulting lack of effort, which goes against everything the NFL stands for. Hillis should have been a man and held out before camp…that’s the American way, although he is going into work and doing his job half-assed which is also the American way, so I don’t know what’s going on.

Detroit v. Dallas

I knew Dallas was going to find a way to lose this game. I just knew it. I knew it before the game, I knew it during the game when they were up huge and I knew it when Detroit was in the midst of their comeback and Dallas was playing like a turtle trying to cross the freeway. How confident was I?? Well even though my beloved Cowboys were favoured at home, the second the line moved to -2.5 I bet against them (for anyone who has ever bet against their team you know how this feels, its like openly picking one of your kids over the other). The result? Even though Dallas was up large I could smell disaster looming, because being a Dallas fan for almost 20 years and watching them in their post glory days era I can tell you 5 constants about the Cowboys….

1)      They blow leads like no other team in professional sports (any Randy Moss Minnesota game, the Washington home opener in 2005, the Washington game from 2010, the Saints game from 2010, the Jets game from 2011, and of course last week’s game against Detroit). I am sure if I sat here and thought about it I could think of a ton more examples.

2)      They cannot blow-out teams, in fact the only games they win are close ones. I cannot recall them ever just absolutely blowing out a team in the last ten years (except maybe the Lions here or there before this season), that’s why I knew they were going to find a way to blow this Lions game. They can get blown out mind you, they can get blown out hard, especially in games of consequence (Philly game to get into the playoffs a couple of seasons ago, Minnesota in the Playoffs two years ago, Green Bay in 2010 etc.), but ya they can blow out no one.

3)      Their corners and defensive backs stink. I have seen no other team with worse play from their secondary then the Dallas Cowboys in the last maybe 13 years. Any Cowboys fan will tell you, any time Dallas has to make a critical 3^rd down stop, even if its third and long, Dallas will find a way to blow the coverage and give up the big play down field and probably allow the touchdown.

4)       Tony Romo is all or nothing. Period. Its weird because the guy plays some of the best gritty, smart football I have ever seen, and this is more then just his statistics, he does play great on field football, but there is the time/game where he will just implode like the Hindenburg and his team will go down with him. But again, a ton of times and more times then naught, he will be the catalyst in his teams victories,  he will lead the 4^th quarter comeback he will make all of his teammates better. So in sum he is better more often then he is bad, however the way he losses and the devastating effects that they have given the supreme let down, perhaps are more effect on the team morale overall. I am a Romo fan, given all that I have seen in the time since Aikman, but I hope that he at least finds a way to lose ok and not in such a terrible an gut wrenching ways.

5)      Dallas has no run game. Period. Yes their have been games here or there were various backs have put up various 100 yard games, but overall this team has not been able to run the ball effectively and consitantly for the last 13 years at least. Thomas Jones was not the answer, Marion Barber was definitely not the answer and to this point, Felix Jones has not been the answer (and his affinity for injury is helping nothing).

However all this being said, if New England beats the Jets this week and does so badly, bet a ton that Dallas will cover the spread against New England, because as strange as it may sound after all that I have said, Dallas has always found a way to keep games when they are the outright underdogs to good teams competitive (New Orleans last year, the Colts in their Superbowl season, the Giants in their Supebowl season-beating them twice in the regular season, New England in the season they went to the Superbowl etc.).

Minnesota v. KC

In another shocker, Minnesota found a way to lose to the hapless Chiefs. I hate Donovan McNabb and I hate the Vikings, but even I feel a little bit bad about what’s going on with this franchise and how they are giving games away and the humiliating way they are going down. Well I feel bad, but not that bad given that Leslie Frazier still has a job given his current standing as worst coach in the NFL (narrowly edging out Indy’s guy).

Washington v. St Louis

Washington continues to roll this season with a road victory against the Rams. Yes Grossman had a terrible week, but the Redskins were able to capitalize on a solid run game, solid defense and the fact that they were playing the Rams. Solid win overall..although I still have no confidence in this team’s ability to win against good teams, which yes qualifies them to be proposed for membership for the all-hype of squad.

San Fran v. Philly

Yes another solid loss for this the Philly ‘Dream Team’. At 1-3 this team is playing exactly how a team coached by Andy Reid, no chemistry and a just got paid QB should be playing…but worse. How they blew this game I’ll never know, and if Tony Romo didn’t win blow his team’s win so dramatically and by a greater margin, the facts that they blew a 20 point lead would have certainly been the talk of the NFL. While I am still pissed that Dallas didn’t get Asomugha despite his questionable Philly play (because he is still miles ahead better then any corner named Deion Sanders has ever had and light years ahead of anyone they currently have), I take solace in the fact that they are losing so splendidly. All this being said however, bet the farm that they will beat Buffalo this week and most likely cover the spread as well.

NO v. Jax

Predicatable win by the Saints, and predicatable terrible performance by the Jags. Other then Jones-Drew I can’ think of a single thing to like about the Jags. NOTHINGGGGGG.

Pittsburgh v. Houston

No I am not ready to take Houston off the all-hype and overrated list because they did not win the game, Pittsburgh lost it and not just lost it but handed it to them. If Pittsburgh’s run game was even a shell of what it was last year, they cruise to victory in this one. Plus their franchise QB gets hurt and has been playing questionably all season.  Will the Steelers turn it around? Unknown at this point because the Pros and Cons for them are pretty even

Pro

-their coach is still solid and he does look like Omar Epps, so he might still have the juice now

-Troy Polamalu is back and healthy

-Their No. 1 WR is solid

-Their defense despite being older and nicked up still plays hard

Cons

-Rothlesberger (sp?) has not raped anyone in a while (at least in a while) and it seems to be affecting his play

-Rothererreslegbergger (sp?) is banged up

-Their Defense is not only older, but injured in a bunch of places including losing Harrison for an extend period of time, possibly even the season

-Their O-line is terrible

-They have no run game, and Mendenhall has played like a jack-ass thus far this season

-They are fighting the Superbowl runner-up hangover/curse

So there you have it, pretty good pro and con list right there, although the cons do seem to win out, I see this team going 8-8 or 9-7 this season.

Giants v. Arizona

The Giants find a way to dirty Arizona and come from 14 back in this one to win the game late (and win my bet on the Giants as well). Arizona complained that Cruz fumbled the ball when he walked away from it, but that is a fluke fumble and the Giants still deserved to win the game. If Arizona ever wants to be taken seriously they have to find a way to either clone Kurt Warner or actually find ways to win and put away teams instead of relying on flimsy excuses.

Atlanta v. Seattle

My only question in seeing the final in this game, is how did Atlanta only win by 2? Yes Seattle is playing at home, where they find a way to suck less (just ask the Saints), but they still have Tavaris Jackson at QB, no playmakers on either side of the ball and Atlanta was up big in this one. Atlanta is on shakier ground this season then Tony Sporano’s job security. Zero faith in them. None.

Denver v. Green Bay

Green Bay trounces Denver at Lambo, no real surprises here other than the fact that Clay Matthews has stunk this season and is yet to make a play on defense (did he just get paid or something?) and that Kyle Orton was actually trying to make plays in this game despite the fact that his team was getting beat worse than Victor Ortiz (the one angle in this Mayweather fight that no seems to cover is the fact that he has won this way before when he slaughtered Arturo Gatti a few summers ago. Gatti put his hands down, and was whooped by Mayweather. To all the pretenders out there rememeber, keep your hands up at all times against Money May, he’s a killer. Also Ortiz has no right to complain, the way he was fighting he was going to get knocked out in the next round anyway, at least this way he can hook another payday with someone).

New England v. Oakland

I took New England in this one when it was New England at 4.5, even when it was -6 this game was a lock. New England always plays tremendous after a loss and even the Raiders garbage time score meant nothing.

Miami v. San Diego

I don’t know what it is, but even at 3-1 San Diego looks shakey to me. I have no confidence in their ability to win against a good team right now. They are winning games against scrubs, but even these victories are mad questionable. Would San Diego have covered the spread if Henne doesn’t get hurt and they find a stiff from the local morgue to come in and play in his stead? I doubt it. Rivers man up and start throwing some TDs one time…yes I have Rivers in fantasy.

NY Jets v. Baltimore

If the Jets didn’t get that dirty win in Dallas to start the season would anyone have any confidence in them right now? Like at all? They are playing terrible right now, and yes I know they start to win ball games later in the season like San Diego, but they look brutal right now and if they dig this hole any deeper I don’t know how they expect to climb out, especially in the AFC were a lot of teams are on the upward trend from last year. Baltimore continues to look sharp although their week 2 loss is awkwardly haunting.

Indy at Tampa

I sooooooo wanted to take Indy against the spread this week but didn’t have the nerve at the last second. Indy was doing everything they could to lose despite some surprisingly solid plays by Pierre Garcon, and Tampa barely squeaked out a win at home. If I know two things they are this, no one should ever have confidence and Indy is winning this week against KC barring some miracle or drastic give away by Indy.