Archive for September, 2011


13 Sep


Well I finally splurged, and so after years of fiending for it I am proud to announce that I am subscriber of the ‘Rogers Super Sports Pak’. As such I am lucky enough to view every single NFL game on Sunday and will never have to constantly click refresh on ESPN when the Cowboys are not on TV (I AM NOT AN ANIMAL).

However, in order to justify this purchase (which is surprisingly reasonable, and if the NBA was on T.V. this season or I cared about baseball it would be an even better value), I feel like I have to write about my observations and/or things that have unimpressed me in the week’s action….

Anyway, enjoy..


While I am not sold on the Lions bandwagon, I do like some of their young parts in Icantspell Suh and Calvin Johnson. However, I am also a fan of Matt Stafford, he might be young and rough around the edges, but like Mark Sanchez he is the type of quarterback that you feel has the tools to win ballgames where they count. Lets see if they make the playoffs with Stafford this year.

However, while I am not sold on the Lions bandwagon, I am sold on the fact that Tampa Bay is one of the most overrated and luckiest teams in the league. The team way overachieved last year which seemed to justify management’s decision to play way under the cap and not have a star in his prime at any position.

Surprise, Surprise, while the Lions DBs and specials were begging the Bucs to steal the game, the Bucs over-hype was too massive for their own good and they collapsed like a house of cards under their enormous cap space.


Being a Cowboys fan I was hoping for both of these teams to find a way to lose (or at least tie), the immense Giants injuries predictably were too much to overcome. And while injuries were probably the biggest thing that caused the Giants downfall, there were three things to take away

1)      The Redskins played very well against the run, especially given how potent the Giants backs are.

2)      Tim Hightower actually looked like a half-way decent RB, Arizona must be pissed

3)      The injuries kept piling up for the Giants and if they even have a shot at getting to .500 this year they better pray some guys who got dinged on Sunday like Hakeem Nicks get healthy ASAP


My only real thought while briefly watching this game, was how in the World did Seattle not cough up a first round pick on Carson Palmer?? Do you hate your loyal fan base so much that you are willing to throw away your season on a first rounder that will probably be a bust anyway???!? Carson Palmer might have some miles on him but he looks like the second coming of Joe Montana compared to Tavaris Jackson. Hell I look like the second coming of Joe Montana compared to Tavaris Jackson.

Sufficed to say Tavaris Jackson looks terrible, it is no surprise that a shaky 49ers squad got the win.


39 yards. 39 YARDS. THIRTY NINE YARDS!!!!!! How in the world does an NFL team throw for 39 fucken yards in a game???? I doubt even the 0-16 Lions never threw for under a 100 yds in a game!!

To put this into prospective throwing for 39 yards in a game is like an airplane pilot not knowing how to use landing gear or a doctor urinating into a patient while performing surgery. YES IT IS THAT UNBELIVABLE!!

It is therefore no surprise that the Chargers who were down big early to start (THANKS TO SPECIAL TEAMS NOT THE BIG 39 YARDS PASSING) and were actually auditioning members of the crowd to replace their injured kicker at half-time managed to still win this game.

39 YARDS!!!!!!??!!!!


24 YARDS!!! 24 YARDS!!!!!!!! Ok I’ll stop, but 24 yards is the number of rushing yards Chris Johnson put up after holding out all preseason and demanding to be paid like not only the top RB in the NFL, but the highest player in the NFL!!!??!! Thank you Chris Johnson for setting the Players Association back centuries with that unreasonable holdout and brutal hold out subsequent (although to be fair the Players Association set themselves back centuries with that terrible deal they made despite having both the courts and right on their side).

Terrible CJ. Your team deserved to lose and that loss is all on you.


While Cam Newton had an amazing day tying the all-time record for yards passing at 422, I am left wondering how you didn’t get that extra yard?? This was not like a player sitting at the end of the season when they are right next to a record, this was opening day!! Steve Smith had 178 yards or so, flip ‘em an extra yard.

Anyway while Newton had a banner day with three touchdowns (2 passing and 1 rushing), he proved to be the anti-Stafford/Sanchez /Flacco as his squad was able to blow this record-setting (or record-tying) performance.

Therefore while Newton might have a bright future in the NFL to some degree (or at least much brighter than many like Terry Bradshaw figured), for whatever reason he does not seem to have that winning “it factor” and like too many mobile quarterbacks of today he seems to prefer looking good and losing, then doing enough to win. But whatever it was the first game, lets see how the rest of the season goes.


As my friend Ryan has said, “this games underscores why Peyton Manning should retroactively be awarded the MVP for the last ten years. Not only did the Colts have an absolutely brutal game from top to bottom, but if you think about it Manning has not only over-performed for the last 10 seasons but have done so with no running back for years, questionable defense for years and a terrible coach for every season since Tony Dungy retired (YES JIM CALDWELL I AM LOOKING AT YOU).

With respect to the Texans, it appears that losing the Asomugha sweepstakes was a blessing for this squad as they were able to get Charles Tillman and a very good DB from the Bengals (1. Yes the Bengals has a good DB, and 2. I can’t remember his name) and fill some of the biggest holes that plagued this team for seasons. They have always had the weapons on offense, and now with a much better defense, coupled with a Manning-less Colts squad, the AFC South seems like their’s to lose.


Where was the defense in this game?? For all the talk about Green Bay’s defense they sure seemed happy to let the Saints stick around and let them put up points on them at will. My only other thought about this game was that Darren Sproles looked great, a true sans-regret move by letting Bush walk. Now all they have to do is cut some of the excess runningbacks they got and use that cash to sign and/or up their defense.


I HATE YOU BROWNS!!! You truly are every bit as a worthy as your name, as you managed to shit all over yourselves and manage to lose to a team that was 1-7 on the road last year and 4-12 overall, has no quarterback, has no wide receivers, probably the worst coach in the NFL not named Jim Caldwell, and certainly the worst owner in the NFL and they managed to lose against them at home???? It was not only that they lost, it was the way they lost. First they started off down 13-0, then they took the lead at 14-13, grew the lead their lead to +4 deep in the 4th quarter and then somehow managed to lose the game by 10??????!!!???

You suck Browns. I hate you and everything about you.*

*my hate for the Browns I assure you has nothing to do with the fact that I lost 50 bucks on a two game parlay when the first game was contingent on the Browns winning against the hapless Bengals by 6. Yuck.


You might remember earlier in this entry when I went on and on about how overhyped the Bucs were and how they were they most overrated and un-trustworthy teams in the league. Well allow me to introduce you to the other most overrated team in the league, ladies and gentleman allow me to introduce you to the Kansas City Chiefs.

Last year this team looked more shaky then Trevor Berbick when he was trying to get up against Tyson back in ’86. I couldn’t for the life of me figure out how this team was putting up wins last year until I put together 3 things.

1)      They were playing in the AFC West

2)      They had an overachieving running back

3)      They were playing in the AFC West

And while 2010 was great to the Chiefs, their Enron-esque run predictably and decisively came to an end when they were throttled at home by the hapless and one of the worst projected teams’ in the NFL this season in the Buffalo Bills. Gross.

Fitzpatrick I have you in fantasy on my pine, keep doing what you’re doing so that I can get my flip on.


While there is much to look forward to in St. Louis, they were simply overmatched by the high octane Eagles and their much improved defense. Silver Lining for the Rams? They were competitive for much of the game despite a rash of injuries to some of their best players (i.e. Bradford, Jackson, Aroumadalamajah (sp?!) etc.)


How badly did the Cowboys want to blow this game?? Well Bill Bartwell, a lead writer for Bill Simmons’, stated that despite the Cowboys problems in the 4th (and there was a TON OF THEM), they were still a 95% favorite or so until the point when they blocked that infamous Cowboys punt and then ran it in for a score. And while the blocked punt was not Tony Romo’s fault many of the plays leading up to it and subsequent were all on him. To quote Tony Romo, “this game was all on me.” Well said Tony, and I could not agree more.

Please do not get me wrong, I am a huge Cowboys fan and a big Romo fan (if you have any questions about this please feel free to read my ‘Hate for the Cowboys Hate’ entry from last year), but something has got to give. The Cowboys have to not only live up to the talent they do have on their roster, but they need to make some moves ASAP to fill the gapping holes they have in their defensive backfield (who have for about 10 years now have always found a way to give up the big play when they need to get a stop) and offensive line. I have no idea what’s going on in Cowboy-land and they have done some good things of late (keeping Garrett, ditching Roy Will and Barber, finding Dez Bryant etc.), but these holes have been holes for a while now its time for Rich Uncle Jerry to get these things fixed STAT.

Luckily for the Cowboys despite this crushing loss, their schedule is actually very favourable to them, so if they can get their act together they might be able to do some things. But they need one competent corner to get this done like now.


Well I just finished watching Brady throw down an ass kicking on the lowly Dolphins and was happy to see it (particularly because I have Welker in fantasy). However, despite my fantasy after glow, I can’t help but wonder why everyone is all over the Patriots jock once again this year?? This team has looked great during the regular season for a few seasons now, but they have also been a disappointment for many seasons too.

I would therefore implore all those like Gregg Easterbrook who can’t wait to drop to their knees, open their mouth and await the Patriots load, to please hold off until this squad at least makes it past the first round of the playoffs and ideally at preferably until they make it to the AFC title game.

Lastly the only other thing I was wondering with respect to the Patriots was why Bill Belicheck has a reality show?? Isn’t Bill Belicheck one of the most low-key, anti-media, anti-attention guys in history?? This was really distrurbing and makes me wonder when the D.H. Lawerence/Terrance Mann reality show is set to kick-off.

*Bonus thought*

I love how the powers that be keep showing Marc Anthony and Will Smith all over each other up in the VIP. If you think this is a coincidence, think again. This is absolutely, positively a calculated move by the powers that be disprove rumours that Miami Dolphins co-owner Anthony is having or had  an affair with the biggest movie star on the planet’s wife.

Pure and simple.

Get off me powers that be, ya’ll can’t hold me.


This game is going on right now, so I don’t have any final thoughts, other than to how and pray that Orton and Llyod have subpar games given that I’m going against them and their potentially devastating double dip potential.

Oh no I actually had two other thoughts.

1)      How did John Fox, a guy who coach the NFL’s worst team last year (the 2-14 Panthers), a guy who got fired, somehow turn around and get offered the head coaching gig in Denver??  Who other then gets promoted after doing such a poor and terrible job? I want to know what scandalous photos of John Elway Fox has in his possession.

2)      Did anyone else notice that Bible Belt favorite and overhyped sensation Tim Tebow is now third on the Broncos depth chart?? Solid.

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