I hate fantasy football and week 15 of the NFL. Almost every year I have a dominant team in fantasy, and they collapse for whatever like clock work around this time of the year. Fuck I hate it. And of course this year was no exception. Leading the league at 11-2 and coming in after the bye my team, who despite losing Demarco Murray, was still poised to take it all. What happened? Well it was a shitty blur with Kevin Smith (Murray’s replacement), Mason Crosby, Wes Welker, Jared Allen, Ed Reed and DeMarcus Ware (only played a half) shitting the bed. PURE SMACK. Furthermore Philip Rivers who had a decent day, decided to allow his backs do all the scoring for him in the Chargers blow-out of the Ravens.
Anyway, I still do think I assemebled the greatest fantasy football team ever asembled via a draft auction. But only the annals of Yahoo lore wil ever know its true greatness (whatever that means). A final shout out to my entire team, and then lets never speak of them again
QB – Phillip Rivers
WR1- Dez Bryant
WR2- Vincent Jackson
WR3-Wes Welker
RB1- Peyton Hillis (F U Hillis, I hope the yeast infection that kept you out all swells up and explodes)
RB2-Ahmad Bradhaw then Javid Best(for no games) and then Kevin Smith
TE-Jason Whitten and then Jimmy Graham
BENCH1- Regggie Wayne (thanks for turning it on so late Wayne, ass)
Bench2- Modarty Hardesty (sp?)
Bench 3-Toby Gerhart(why oh why were you on the Bench for week 15, oh ya because that vag stain Adrian Peterson decide to come back in a meaningless game when you’re team is 2-12)
Bench 4- Kelland Williams
Bench 5- So random RB scrub
K- Mason Crosby (where were you last week??????????/)
D1- DeMarcus Ware (solid absence the last three weeks)
D2-D’Qwell Jackson (my team’s MVP)
DB- Ed Reed (solid year of doing nothing, I look forward to next season when you light it up and I still refuse to take you off the wavier wire out of spite)
DL- Jared Alled (your one week off couldn’t have come at a worse time.
Alas I will be back to playing fantasy football last year, as I do very well in it (3 regular season titles in 6 years, at least a top 4 finsih every year in either standing or pts (if not both) and I do have one grand championship (reg season and playoffs) which I got in my first yar (you could say I am the Phil Helmuth of fantasy football). So until next year fantasy its been real..and I hate you..but I love you…
Ok enough BS rambling, onto what you came for. Since I am doing no review this year, I am giving some bonus picks. I will only be standing by my Gold, Silver and Bronze Picks (this week they will be holiday editioned) and the rest you should follow at your own risk. AGAIN THESE PICKS ARE FOR ENTERTANIMENT PURPOSES ONLY!!! GAME RESPONSIBLY!!
Gold Pick- Philly +3 over Dallas (I have no idea how Dallas is even a favorite in this one. I love the Cowboys to death, but this is a game they are primed to lose).
Frankense Pick- Bucs +9 over Carolina (I know Tampa has under performed all year, and as a hype up team they will do that, but give me a break +9 to the Panthers?? Make money is what this pick is screaming).
Muir Pick-Oakland +1 over KC (big loss by the Raiders last week and too big of a win by KC. I like Romeo, but his team is not winning 2 in a row like this).
Bonus Picks..
Minny +6 over Washington
Broncos -1.5 over Buffalo
Arizona +4 over Bengals
Browns +12.5 over Baltimore (iffy on this one)
Jets-3 over Giannts.
Good luck and have a fantastic holiday season.
