Would you hire the kid who mows your lawn to be the head of your landscaping company? How about the person that works the pump at one of your gas stations to be the head of your oil and gas exploration entreprise? The answer is certainly no right, at least not without years of higher education, training and on the job performance evaluation? Unfortunately, for whatever reason this logic does not translate into the world of sports as there seems to be a steadily increasing number of former players in the front office. When it inevitably goes bad, the system is blamed and execs line up to cover their mistakes by point the finger at things like “the minimum draft age”, “the CBA”, the allegation that “small-markets cannot compete” etc. Balderdash!! The real reason so many teams have so many problems is because nepotism and/or favoritism is rampant and you are stuck with a bunch of underqualified people running your multi-million (and in some cases billion) franchises. While there certainly are exceptions like Jerry West and Joe Dumars circa 2003, the vast majority of former players do not possess the skill set necessary to run a sports franchise. Below is a list of the top five.
MAGIC JOHNSON
While Magic Johnson is perhaps best known for his electric on-court performances, no-look passes and jump hooks, his manouevers off-the court have been far less impressive. In fact, Magic’s million dollar smile should be renamed the “billion dollar” smile as many people believe he made his ownership group overpay in their quest to attain the L.A. Dodgers by about a billion dollars. When you add the fact that former owner Frank McCourt still retains about half of the parking lot concession, Magic’s questionable purchase goes from head scratching to mind blowing.
ISIAH THOMAS
Of all the former athletes who have failed in their front office attempts Isiah’s debacle is probably the most publicized of them all. And rightfully so. In his 5 year tenure as President of Basketball Operations/General Manager and coach for the Knicks, “Zeke” was able to compile the second worst record in the league while simultaneously having the league’s highest payroll (2005-06), dealt away several coveted draft picks in talent heavy drafts to Chicago only to acquire Eddy Curry in return and agreed to take on some of the worst contracts in recent history by agreeing to acquire headcases like Zach Randolph and overpaying for bench fodder like Jerome James and Jerrod Jeffries. Couple these atrocities with the heinous publicity and 11.5 million dollars he cost the franchise as result of the sexual harassment lawsuit he provoked, and it is no wonder why the name Isiah Thomas still incites rage amongst many-a-New Yorker.
JOHN ELWAY
On the field John Elway was known as one of the most resilient quarterbacks of all-time and perhaps most notably, for his ability to turn nothing into something. Off the field however, it seems like he is poised to do the exact opposite. After years of mediocrity and being out of the media spotlight, Tim Tebow despite his questionable mechanics, was able to turn it around for the Broncos as he was able to awaken his team’s defense, make the big play when it counted and turned in one of the most talked about NFL seasons in league history with his penchant for winning in the clutch. When the season was over however, despite Tebow’s ability to turn around the franchise in less than year, Elway in almost Judas like fashion turned on Football Jesus and made it his mission to dump Tebow at the first opportunity he got. In fact, Elway’s zeal to get rid of Tebow was so great that all he got for the most talked about player in the NFL, was pennies on the dollar. In fact, all they got from the Jets was a fourth and sixth rounder in exchange for Tebow and a 7th rounder.
If the handling of the Tebow situation was not enough of an epic blunder on its own, Elway’s choice of replacement for Tebow is poised to be one of the most overpriced mistakes in league history. If Peyton Manning can return to form, few in Denver will ever remember the name Tim Tebow and that will be that. But if the 36 year old Manning who just signed a five-year contract worth $96 million contract with the Broncos and who is a year removed from playing a single down in the NFL due to persistent neck problems has any sort of set-back, you can believe that folks in Denver will be calling for Elway’s job. Its one hit even Elway won’t be able to avoid.
MATT MILLEN
In his playing days Millen was pro-bowl linebacker known for his hard hitting and ability to instill fear on the gridiron. In his job as Detroit Lions CEO and GM however, he was known for his hard headed moves and his ability to instill fear and hatred amongst those in his own fanbase. Even though it might sound like I’m kidding, in truth there is nothing humorous about Millen’s tenure as head of the Lions. Not only was Detroit’s winning percentage the worst ever for a seven year period in the NFL under his leadership (.277), but the Lions inability to win on the road for three full seasons (2001-2003), their notoriously terrible draft selections (which included three bust WR selections taken with their first overall pick) and the infamous (and seemingly impossible) 0-16 season which came to fruition in Millen’s last year, are all reasons why many believe that Millen is possibly the worst front office executive of all time.
The title of worst executive overall however belongs to whomever decided that it was a good idea to give Millen a broadcasting job as a sports analyst after his terrible tenure with the Lions. The only comparison that even comes close to this terrible atrocity is someone actually hiring Bernie Madoff to teach a course on business ethics from his jail cell. That’s it nothing else is close.
MICHAEL JORDAN
In his playing days everyone wanted to be like Mike. He was able to sell out arenas (even baseball stadiums when he tried his hand at triple AAA ball), rake in millions in endorsements, was beloved the World over and was universally acclaimed as being the greatest basketball player of all time. In fact it has been 14 years since Michael Jordan played a meaningful basketball game (I only count his tenure with the Chicago Bulls as meaningful) and yet he is still brought up daily by the media and still sells millions of dollars each year in sports apparel with his longtime relationship with Nike.
Unfortunately, not all aspects of the basketball world have gone well for Jordan over the years, especially since his third retirement. And while his hall-of-fame induction speech might make the list, in the big picture sense what has perhaps hurt Jordan and his invincible image the most emanates from his front office position with the Washington Wizards and his subsequent move to buy the Charlotte Bobcats and his ineptitude as an owner/decision maker on that front which have completely run the team into the ground. With respect to the former, two words sum up his job with the Wizards; Kwame Brown, a pick so terrible that the Wizard rewarded Jordan by severing all ties with him after he came out of retirement to play two seasons with them. With regards to the latter, well what else is there left to say really? Not only did his team just post the worst winning percentage in league history (.106), but questionable picks which include (but are not limited to) Bismack Biyombo, Kemba Walker and Adam Morrison, the firing of Hall of Fame coach Larry Brown and the revolving door policy of acquiring and then releasing mid-level talent like Stephen Jackson, Raymond Felton, Gerald Wallace and Correy Maggette are all reasons why Jordan needs to seriously second guess his decision to be part of any front office ever again. He might have been known as Air-Jordan on the court, but off it, the only term that accurately sums him up his performance as an executive is Air-Head.
