One of the great joys in my life is watching my friend Ryan hit the ceiling with some of the outlandish things I say. He accuses me of having “Cartman’s memory”, which if you have seen the South Park episode spoofing Kanye West, is quite the indictment. However, while I might do cop to saying pretty outlandish things because I am right so often I think I am justified in the manner in which I carry myself, even if the end result is my friend Ryan having a stroke by the time he is 35.
In any event, here is a list of some of the prominent events, trends or just plain”calls” I have made over the past few years. Some of the calls I have made which have yet to come to fruition (but that I GUARANTEE will happen) I will post in coming days. The list is not complete, but I will continue to update it as time goes by/I can remember more things. Enjoy
COME TO PASS CALLS THAT I HAVE MADE
-The 2011 Giants would beat the top ranked Green Bay Packers ( I have the gambling slips to prove)
-The 2011 Giants would win the Superbowl (ditto)
-Jeremy Lin’s success was temporary (ready my entry a few months back)
-Terrence Newman was terrible and needed to be cut (I even wrote Jerry Jones an impassioned letter as a fan back in 2003 or 2004)
-The Bacehlor as a show is racist as fuck (not only does it not feature a minority in the leading role, but minorities never make it far in the competition)
-Apple Stock would blow up (made this call in 2007 before the release of the IPOD and told everybody, sadly as student I had no money to invest)
-NetFlix would blow up after hitting a low of 68 dollars a share in 2011 (although after clawing its way back to 130 the stock slipped, luckily I sold my fifty shares at around 110)
-Beats-Audio headphones would blow up
-Lady Gaga would become a huge star (called this before her Ms. Universe appearance a few years ago)
-Rhianna would be a big star (said this back in 2005 when Jay-Z introduced her along simultaneously with some other girl. I don’ t know what happened with that other chick, but I wonder sometimes).
-Mixing Rap Artists with dance beats was a winning combination
-Tiger Woods has a phoney personality, would never break Jack Nichlaus’ record for Majors and was finished after the incident with his car and his wife (despite the hackiness of sports writers who pushed his brand, he was actually finished the year before)
-Brett Favre was a phoney and the most overrated athlete ever (even my friend Ry will attest that I called this as far back as the early 2000s)
-Building a frnachise around a “Mobile” Quarterback is the stupidest decision one could ever make (both in fantasy and real life) as NFL success is dependant on pocket passing, making good decisions and staying healthy.
-Kristen Weig is the funniest woman alive and everyone will know it (called a couple years back).
-Adam Sandler is the most un-original and un-funniest person alive and his sweeping of the Razzies and string of terrible movies should attest to this (forget Stonehenge, how he still makes movies and get paid millions of dollars for it is the World’s greatest mystery).
-Will Ferrell is almost as untalented and unfunny as Adam Sandler (called this many years ago and his ranking as the most unbankable movie star in the World last year or the year before is proof positive).
-Untalented hacks like Sandler and Farrell will continue to stay current by latching on to actually funny people only to suck them down as well (Chris Rock in Grown Ups, Seth Rogan in Frunny People, John Header in Blades of Glory etc.)
-We would see a rise in movies that being at the end (or near end) of the film’s story (there was a rash of these around the time of the Hangover)
-Heath Ledger would win best supporting actor (called this months before the Dark Knight came out)
-Rosie O’Donnell sucked, was overpaid and about to be flushed out of show business
-Keith Oberman (see Rosie Above)
-Peyton Manning was done in Indy (called this right when it was announced he was gone for the season and the Colts were tanking)
-Conan O’Brien would fail miserably in his role as Tonight Show host
-Jay Leno despite his detractors would return as the King of Late Night (rating don’t lie Ryan)
-The Tim Tebow fad would not last
-The Playboy Club would fail miserably
-SNL despite its recent bout with losing cast members would return to prominence due to its case being one of the best of all time (With Kristen Weig’s impending departure though this might not remain true. Plus the writing has gone to shit recently).
-The Miami Heat would not win the title in 2011
-The Jonas Brothers would not last long in the music business (I know I know, who are the Jonas broehters right?)
-Amy Winehouse dies (everyone called this I guess)
-Whitney Houston dies (again a sad ditto)
-Anna Nicole Smith dies (ok this is getting sad)
-Martin Bashear is responsible for the Death of Michael Jackson (not much debate here, he underhandedly pushed a weak man over the edge)
-Sandra Bullock was an idiot to marry a scumbag like Jesse James
-Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johanssen’s marriage would not last
-Ashton Kutcher’s marriage to Demi Moore would never last (anyone who thought they would be parried past her turning 55 is mentally ill)
-Kim Kardashian and Blake Griffen’s Kris Humphris’ marriage would never last (I didn’t see 70 something days though)
-Jennifer Aniston will continue to ride public sympathy into far more fame and movie roles then she deserves (I didn’t think all her movies be this terrible though)
-Taylor Swift will continue to ride public sympathy into far more fame and music albums then she deserves (I didn’t think all her songs would sound the same though)
-Boxing despite seeing a resurgence in popularity would continue to be ignored by the sports media who would rather push a real sport like golf on us (Floyd’s numbers this weekend both in terms of record setting guaranteed purse and pay-per-views buys are proof positive of this sad trend/call).
-Lebron James being able to call himself the King without actually winning any titles could only last so long (I have no idea how he lasted 7 years in the league
-Avatar was going to be one of the biggest movies ever (despite several media outlets and my friend Ry betting against it).
-Inception would be a massive hit (I also called in the theatre that his ring indicates what is real and what is dream)
-2011 would be one of the worst summer for movies ever (called this before it kicked off, but the audience is only to blame. Unless we stop going to see trash like Grown Ups, Jack and Jill, cash grab sequels, cash grab comic book sequels and super-cash grab movies which are deliberately broken in two just to squeeze out every last drop from movie goers (Harry Potter Deathly Hallows and Breaking Dawn) we will only continue to be inundated with terrible selection and awful movies).
-Despite movies being terrible of late, we are in an absolute golden age of television (this isn’t really a call as it is a fact. A gloooorious fact. So tay home and watch tv until movie makers get their fucking act together).
