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Ever watched a movie and thought to yourself, “this movie would be happened if this happened”, “how in the world, did the movie/screenwriter/director  think they could get away with that”, or “what the hell, was this character thinking.” We all have right? Well I call these head-scratchers and movie notes Movie Musings, and in this first edition I present you 10 of my most profound (to date):

Enjoy, and beware the SPOILER ALERT!!!!

1. LOOPER- Instead of the nice ending where the boy doesn’t witness his mom die, and thus doesn’t grow up to destroy the World, how about a darker one, where the World is destroyed. This is accomplished by the boy not being the one of two prospective child killers Bruce Willis’ character narrows down, but rather the other kid (the little girl) who watches her prostitute mom bite the big one in the sleazy motel floor. Having this ending in place, makes not only for much darker picture, but also aligns with the movie’s premise that the grand killer is pissed because they watched their mother die as a child.
2. Jaws- Why do they keep going in the Water? I know there is no movie without it, but if you know there is a tyrannical monster in the Water, why do you keep going in? I hate this movie, if I am near any body of water I don’t go more than ten feet past the shoreline because of it.
3. Inglorious Bastards, Dhjano Unchained, Kill Bill etc.- Why exactly Tarantino movies are so popular I will never know. I supposed they are decent in terms of production, but to me they are all mostly comprised of over-the-top violence and non-sensical speak.
4. Spiderman 2- Hey Spiderman, why do you keep taking your mask off, aren’t you aware that everyone on the train now knows your identity and will dime you out at the drop of a hat for a) fame b) money c) to save their own skin.* Spiderman Bonus- in the first Spiderman in the Tobey MacGuire Series, why does Spiderman turn down a job from Norman Osbourne?? Parker you are dead broke, your aunt is sick as hell and dead broke and you were just received a lucrative job offer from your friend’s dad. 99.9% of people get their jobs based on people they know, welcome to the real World Spidey. Also he wasn’t giving him the job because he is a pal, Parker was the best student in class and thus he earned it, so get off your po’ high horse.
5. The Amazing Spiderman- Building on my frustrations with the Spiderman movie franchise, not only does the Andrew Garfield Spiderman build on the Tobey Macguire one by revealing to the World who he is via his constant penchant to take his mask off, but he also commits several other atrocities along the way. Two of the biggest are certainly having a large role in unleashing the Lizard villain on the city and being the person most responsible for getting his girlfriend’s dad whack. One knowing the latter how does she stay with him? He must be amazing.
6. Skyfall- What was the point of going out unarmed in the middle of nowhere alone with the old MI6 woman and leaving a trail of bread crumbs behind? Was the point to allow possibly the best M16 agent of all time an opportunity to assemble dozens of other men like him and come at you fully armed with two helicopters blasting your childhood home? Granted Bond does an admirable job fending them all off with only a tank of propane he did not know existed, but in the process he got the old lady whacked anyway. Job failed. As I have said before, Skyfall was a decent action movie, but a poor Bond movie.
7. Doubt- zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
8.  The Devil Wears Prada- After Anne Hathaway and her boyfriend (easily one of Vinny Chase’s finest performances) break-up, Hathaway proceeds to given in and sleep with the sleazy guy (played by the Mentalist) who has been pursuing her the whole movie. Of course, the Mentalist Sleaze promptly reveals just how sleazy he is and Hathaway storms out of the room on some kind of moral high horse. Newsflash Queen Hathaway: HE STILL BANGED YOU!!!
9. Life of Pi- If that creepy mystery island is truly poisonous at night, how can a full-sized fish be seen floating in the mystery island pond at night. For that to happen the island must be a fake and Pi a no good dirty murder.
10. Flight- What type of movie was this exactly? Was it a Drama? Was it Suspense? Was it a Comedy? I don’t get it. The movie was so turbulent from one moment to the next that it seems like the plane sequence itself was a metaphor for the entire movie. Also there is no way after he lives his life like a sleazy then at that exact moment at the tribunal where he tells one more harmless lie (harmless because even if he was sober he does the job no one else can) and get millions of dollars (book-deals, endorsements, appearance fees etc.), all the booze he can drink, all the coke he can snort, and all the women he can handle for the rest of his life, that he chooses to tell the truth. Look I’m all for telling the truth, but a guy like that doesn’t pull that chivalry move. If he reforms, that’s great, but he doesn’t pick that moment.

In my previous piece, I looked at some of the pressing issues of some of the NBA’s most pertinent teams (as well as our local Raptors). However, given that there are more than 4 teams in the NBA I have decided to look at a few more.

CHICAGO BULLS-When will Derrick Rose be Back?

Currently the Bulls sit at 35-29 which is good for 5^th place in the Eastern Conference. Although their record is not fantastic, it is remarkable considering they have been forced to play without former MVP Derrick Rose for the entire season. It is tough for any team to compensate for 21 points and 7 assists a game, but in the case of the Bulls it is especially difficult because their entire team game is built around Rose as he is both their lead scorer and facilitator. Without him you think they would be totally lost (like they were in the playoffs last year), but somehow this group has pulled together and are a remarkable 14 games over .500.

While the Bulls have some talented players, Boozer is incredibly inconsistent (especially when it matters) and both Noah and Deng are defense first guys. The offensive spark the Bulls are supposed to rely on from game-to-game is supposed to come from Rose, only he is not there. And while I get that an ACL injury is no joke, Derrick Rose by Derrick Rose’s own admission is healthy enough to play basketball. In fact, Derrick Rose has been good to go from some time now, only he isn’t on the court.  

Only Derrick Rose knows the real reason he is healthy yet refuses to play, but if the comments made by his manager and brother made towards Bulls management over their decision not to pursue any meaningful deals are any indication, the reason seems to be totally dubious. However, this vengefully motive aside, another perhaps more frightening reason Rose is not on the court is perhaps that he is just plain scarred. Rose has not only indicated that he is physically fine, but amazingly also indicated he is mentally conflicted and terrified of getting hurt again. I may not know everything there is to know about basketball, but no franchise player and no former MVP should be talking this way, and if he is I would be worried if I was affiliated with this organization.

Therefore, Bulls fans you should officially be terrified because even if Rose does come back this year, his lost confidence in both himself and his frustrations with the organization are a toxic enough mix to kill any deep playoff hopes.

LOS ANGELES CLIPPERS- Is this team for real?

The real question should maybe be can this team contend for a championship? The reason for the change being that the Clippers are for real, in that they are a young and talented team with a great record, but do they posses all they need to contend for a title this year? The pros for the Clippers again are that they are young, that they are talented and of course that they have the best point guard in the NBA in Chirs Paul leading their team on the court.  Furthermore, their front court leapers of Blake Griffin and DeAndre Jordan make them one of the most entertaining and most hyped teams in the league. Unfortunately, for the Clippers however, they not only seem to lose too many games they should be winning, but that they seem far too one dimensional in that no one in their front court can shoot decently 5 feet from the basket or make free throws. Even more troubling for the Clippers is that Chris Paul is the absolute heart of this team and if he goes down at any point this team is lost.

As such, because of the significance of the aforementioned strikes, I do not believe that we are going to see any conference finals let alone NBA finals out of the Clippers this year. However, with a couple of tweaks via some key veteran signings, a SG or SF who can shoot, and especially a decent back-up for Chris Paul, this team could take the next step very soon.

SAN ANTONIO SPURS- Just how good is this team?

The short answer is excellent. The long answer, more descriptive.

Many people seem to forget that during various points of the Spurs playoff run last season, that a lot of people were calling them the greatest playoff team ever (YES THIS HAPPENED). In fact, the Spurs looked so good that it appeared they were poised to steamroll an injury plagued Heat team in the NBA finals. The problem for the Spurs was the Oklahoma City Thunder. After the first game, the Thunder came storming back in this series (no pun intended), and although they were youthful, they seemed to have answers to all of the wily veteran moves the Spurs could throw at them. Unfortunately, for the Thunder and Lebron-haters everywhere, youthful exuberance was fleeting and the Heat were able to thoroughly dominate the Thunder in the finals. But the question you have to ask yourself is what if the Spurs had matched up with the Heat, would the result have been so one sided? My honest belief is no and I think that series would have gone seven games.  It was therefore a very tough pill to swallow if you affiliations with the Spurs.

The past is the past however, and if you fast-forward to this season, the Spurs are right back to where they usually are; flying under the radar, atop the standings and, Tony Parker’s ankle injury aside, are pretty healthy. I have not seen any reason to believe that this Spurs team is not as good as the one from last year, and if anything, they are more determined than ever to win a title.

OKLAHOMA CITY THUNDER- Is this the year they take the final step?

As previously mentioned, the Thunder did something truly amazing when they came back to knock of the Spurs in the conference finals. In that last game of the series it looked like nothing was going to stop the Thunder and they were at least going to give the Heat all they could handle. Unfortunately, as LeBron James could have told every member of this team, being a young gun in the NBA finals is not an easy thing to cope with. You are hit with a pressure not seen all season and likely that you have not faced in your entire career (which was certainly the case for the Thunder’s big three). And while Kevin Durant remained a semblance of the Kevin Durant we all know and love, James Harden completely imploded and when the core of your team is made up of jump shooters and this happens, you have got serious problems.

However, just like San Antonio, the past is the past and the Thunder have looked great all season. And while they may have lost James Harden, things have not been terrible as Kevin Matrin has quietly stepped in to fill the shooting void (plus, if he can remain consistent in the playoffs and not implode the way Harden did the decision to deal Harden might prove to be the right one). Other bright spots for the Spurs include Durant continuing to being Durant, the Derrick Fisher signing (I always like the move to sign a championship seasoned veteran close to the playoffs) and Serge Ibalka playing up to the expectations the Thunder had when they kept him and dumped Harden. Unfortunately, for the Thunder their two biggest tests remain in tact (i.e. the Miami Heat and San Antonio Spurs) so for them to win it all this year would be very difficult. Furthermore, if the Lakers continue their hot streak that would mean another likely hurdle to jump over.

Therefore, even though they have the tools to make the Finals I do not believe that this is the year they take the final step in winning a championship. I do absolutely believe this team will get there, but likely not this season.

Well, it looks like there are more Jordan fans then I thought. Not only did some of my friends give me grief about my dislike of Michael Jordan, when I commented on a  ESPN OTL article on Jordan (http://espn.go.com/espn/story/_/page/Michael-Jordan/michael-jordan-not-left-building) that was published recently I received some serious heat. To be fair, while my first piece only looked at Jordan the franchise, my response on the OTL piece was considerably more focussed on Jordan the man. In sum I stated that although Jordan was considerable player on the court, I had some serious quams with Jordan’s off court behaviour (Well basically, I called him a failed human being because I absolutely cannot stand when a vile person is reverred and Michael Jordan might just be the most exemplary display of this revolting societal phenomena).

The following is my response to the heat taken and it begins with someone citing Michael Jordan’s “benevolent” “chartity” work (sorry those deserved thier own quotes:

Every athlete gives to charities, but giving to charities in one hand and taking the tax receipt in the other isn’t much. As Jim Brown said of Tiger Woods, as an athlete and a public figure just giving money ain’t nothing, what are you doing for your community personally? What rights are you standing upfor? What important stance are you taking for the people who need it?

Athletes today are so scarred of jeopardizing their brand that they don’t speak up on anything are a just content to get the tax write off or host a charity golf tournament which is paid for by sponsors and nets them only pats on the back.

However, that aspect is not unique to Jordan so I will not fault him for that, all athletes are like that.

What I am speaking of Jordan as a failed human being, is the way he treats others. He has looked down on others for years and treats everyone (inside or outside his inner circle) like dirt. For years the service industry pegged him as the worst and/or cruel celebrity going. He has let his feelings of inadequacy due to his perceived belief that his father loved his brother more turn to rage and manifest itself into a need to belittle or destroy others just to make himself feel big. For years this worked as millions of dollars, a circle of yesmen and the media constantly patting his back made himself feel invincible, but as the years since his retirement mount and others like LeBron and Kobe threaten his on court legacy, his feelings of inadequacy and resentment are only further crippling an already emotionally damaged individual. This is of course to say nothing of his absolute failure as an NBA owner which no doubt comounds the problem.

In sum, you ask me why MJ is failure I gave you my reasons. We are all asked on a daily basis to continually slurp a man who has not played a game of competiitive basketball in 15 years (his years in DC are a farce), why because the man can dribble a basketball and dunk? Please.

Jordan is not Gandhi and never will be. It is time for people and the sportsmedia to wake up and stop treating him like he is. All the trophy wives and expensive liquor are not enough to take the edge off when you are dead inside. Doubt me? Ask Jordan the last time he got a decent nights sleep.

With the conclusion of the All-Star break and with only about a quarter of the NBA season remaining, there are some very important questions remaining for a few of the NBA’s most prominent teams.

ENJOY!

Toronto Raptors- Was worth Rudy Gay worth trading for?

While I have not been a big fan of some of the moves made by the Raps over the last couple of seasons, this was a move I liked. A lot of people were up in arms that Toronto traded away Ed Davis and Raptors staple Jose Calderon, but what these people don’t realize is that the NBA is a star league and in order to compete both on and off the floor (i.e. marketing), you need a big time player who can light it up on the court. Is Rudy Gay one of the top 5 Superstars the NBA has to offer? Maybe not, but given Toronto’s situation he was the best player the Raptors could have realistically acquired for the long haul. And while some concerns persist since the Raptors have been slumping of late and Rudy Gay is shooting 39 percent from the floor, next season the Raptors have a solid chance of not only making the playoffs, but cracking the top 6 in the East as well. If this Raptors squad can continue to mesh well, and they can get anything out of Bargnani (either on the floor or in a trade) they might even be able to attract another quality player to Toronto and then who knows. In short, Rudy Gay was worth trading for.

New York Knicks-Will they continue to fade or will they be able to turn it around?

When the season began there was no hotter team in the NBA than the Knicks. Maybe they didn’t have the best assembly of on-court talent, but they were racking up the wins and their praises were amplified to deafening levels by the New York media. Fast-forward to now and the Knicks appear to flat-lining and the initial weeks of playing above their heads seem to be over. Among the latest in travesties for Knicks fans aside from their mediocre play is their recent implosion against Miami despite being up by double digits at the half, and Mike Woodson’s reprehensible decision not to take his franchise player out of a game after (badly) hurting his knee and begging his coach to come off the floor. The latter event was especially atrocious because if anything happened to the Knicks main 100 million dollar man (sorry Amare), the season was over.

Fortunately for the Knicks, Carmelo’s injury doesn’t seem to be serious, but the handling of the injury as a whole speaks volumes about the Knicks situation as a whole. The Knicks are poorly managed and are one injury away from kissing their season good bye. Add to this that the Knicks as currently constructed do not seem to be made from the mettle needed to win championships (i.e. they are poor closers down the stretch, they rely too heavily on one person for their offensive output, their two highest paid players cannot co-exist on the court together, their point guard is 167 years old etc.) and there are big problems for Knicks’ fans in the longrun. So if you ask me if the Knicks will continue to fade down the stretch, my answer is a definitive yes.

Boston Celtics- Are they the Biggest Threat to the Miami Heat in the East?

When Rajon Rondo was found to have a torn ACL almost every sports media personality was pounding their fists and saying it was time to blow up the Celtics. I however did not feel this way and immediately tweeted that the Celtics were actually better off without Rajon Rondo. How could I make such a statement when Rondo was averaging 11 assists a game (tops in the NBA) and on any given night could take over a game and give you some crazy triple double that looked more like Kate Upton’s measurements than a player’s boxscore? The answer was simple: KG. The way KG plays is that he might be content to sit back and watch other people do their thing for a while, but when it really matters and/or if his team is in distress he performs like the KG reminiscent of his MVP days in Minnesota. No matter how old he is.  Not only that but his infectious do-or-die persona spreads to his entire team and everyone plays better when the chips are down. This has happened every season since the Celtics were written off after winning their first championship in the big three era, with the only exception being two seasons ago when KG himself was lost due to a knee injury and the team was left in total disarray. And so far since Rondo went down with his injury, this season has been no exception. The Celts have not only played their best ball of the season since Rondo went down, but their March 6 comeback win against Indiana (who many have slotted as the number 2 seed in the East) should dispel any notion that the Celtics are done. Can this team beat Miami in a 7 game series? Maybe not, but given the fact that they took Miami to 7 last year and are playing some of the most inspiring basketball in Celtics history, I think they are still Miami’s biggest challenge to repeat.

Los Angeles Lakers-Can this Team Make the Playoffs?

Of all the issues debated and questions which have flown around the NBA this season, the Lakers prowess and their ability to make the playoff have remained right at the top. And justifiably so, as four months into the NBA season the Lakers remain the league’s biggest question mark.  When this squad was first assembled in the Dwight Howard Coup many projected the Lakers to win it all or, at the very least contend with Miami for the NBA crown in the Finals. However, as the season began the Lakers’ prospects have taken a steep downward trajectory that has seen the once mighty Lakers franchise reduced to a laughing stock. Notable among the reasons for this implosion are both Dwight Howard’s schizophrenic persona and the Lakers unbelievable decision to pass on coaching guru Phil Jackson and his 11 titles for offense only Mike D’Antoni and his no titles.

However, despite the best efforts of Lakers brass to undo the legacy of Dr. Jerry Buss in a single season, Kobe Bryant has been playing like a man on fire and seems to have strapped the entire franchise to his back. To say that Bryant is anything short of astonishing for a player in his 17 year in the league would be a total understatement and could only be uttered by someone who knows nothing of basketball. In this era of basketball however, the results for a team who rely too heavily on one player speak for themselves. Example after example shows us that all too often this type of team is destined to see its season end in heartbreak. If Bryant can get some more help from Dwight Howard like he has of late maybe the Lakers can sneak into the playoffs. Unfortunately, even if they do chances are they will face either San Antonio or Oklahoma City, so unless Steve Nash rises from the ashes and plays like he did in Pheonix the Lakers seem poised again for an early exit from the playoffs.

Have you ever wondered why the mainstream sports media can never get enough of Michael Jordan? I mean Jordan as great a basketball player as he was, has not played in an actual NBA game in over ten years now (15 if you dismiss his meaningless stint on the Wizards). However, despite his lengthy absence from the court, his Air-ness still seems to be mentioned at least 50 times a day by the sports media and the talking heads.  Strange isn’t it?

Last Weekend was All-Star weekend in the NBA, and it was the NBA’s opportunity to present a showcase of the NBA’s best and brightest. Last weekend also happened to encompass Michael Jordan’s 50^th birthday. The result? If you happened to tune into any portion of All-star weekend you would promptly be bombarded with nonstop praise, banter and arguments related to why Jordan is God’s gift to basketball (if not the world). Again Michael Jordan has not played a meaningful game of basketball in over 10 years.

Usually, when a star retires there is a huge fuss made about said star, and over the next few years his spotlight tends to shrink and the focus is made on current superstars and their achievements. For whatever reason, Jordan seems to be the exception to this rule.

If one delves into an explanation into this phenomena, the easiest response is that Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player who ever lived and as such his legacy much be constantly engrained in our minds even over a decade after the man’s retirement. However, in order to accept this argument one must submit to the notion that Michael Jordan is in fact the greatest player of all-time. Playing devil’s advocate and looking over Jordan’s achievements we see that in the most relevant statistics Jordan is actually matched or even eclipsed by many of his peers. For example, with respect to Championships, Career Points Per Game, and Career Total Points respectively he is easily overpowered by Bill Russell in title total (11-6), tied with Wilt Chamberlain in PPG (31.4) and is a substantial distance behind both Kareem Abdul-Jabbar (38,387) and Karl Malone (36,928) in career points (at 32,292). However, at this point I will give Jordan-heads and Stat-heads a break, and just rationalize that perhaps Jordan is universally acclaimed to be boss of basketball because as a composite of all relevant statistics, maybe he is on top. It is a scenario that while still close with many Kings of the Court, I can accept.

However, what I cannot and will not accept is the notion that Michael Jordan is so much more dominant than his peers (players like Magic, Russell, Wilt, Kareem and even Kobe), that we must universally associate greatness in sports (and even greatness in general) with Michael Jordan. Is Michael Jordan more relevant to his sport and so much more dominant in comparison with his peers than Wayne Gretzky, Muhammad Ali, Roger Federer or Jim Brown? The answer on both counts is no, and as such to my everlasting confusion I do not understand why Jordan’s name is pounded into our heads with such veracity on a daily basis.

The aforementioned confusion however, is predicated on the naive belief that the push to constantly affirm Jordan’s legacy is based on nothing more than his on-court achievements. Unfortunately, when you look at the financial interests at stake, things quickly start to clear up. Despite being way past his prime as an athlete and not playing on the court in some time, earlier this year Yahoo estimated that Air Jordan still takes in approximately 80 million dollars a year. 80 million!! For a guy, who again has not played a meaningful game of basketball in over 15 years this amount is incredible. Where does the money come from you ask? Well if you guessed the majority of it comes from his investments and his ability to run the Charlotte Bobcats into the ground you would be wrong, as the lion share of Jordan’s income is derived from endorsement deal and his partnership with Nike (the Nike deal alone nets him 60 million a year!). Again Michael Jordan has not played a meaningful game in over a decade!  However, this fact apparently matters not to Nike and the general public as “Brand Jordan” currently accounts for 58 percent of the basketball shoe market (much larger than even the rest of Nike which sits in the 30s). Clearly, having Jordan attached to basketball for has long as he has has been a huge boon for Nike.

The next step in solving this mystery is asking, who exactly is Nike? The simple answer is that Nike is the world’s largest shoe and sport apparel company which earns hundreds of millions of dollars in revenue each year. However, they are also one of the biggest advertisers on some of the most well known media outlets around from Sports Illustrated to ESPN and everyone in between.

Naive or not I hope the dots are beginning to connect. Without question having his name mentioned ad nauseam has been great for Michael Jordan. But it has also been great for the World’s largest sporting goods brand, media outlets and all of the people they employ.

In sum, I do not doubt Michael Jordan’s achievements on the basketball court, but given his performance relevant to his peers both within the sport and to other greats in many other sports, I have a hard time believing that Michael Jordan’s legacy can be constantly perpetuated on that alone. No doubt you should as well.

Ref: http://sports.yahoo.com/news/michael-jordan-still-earns-80-million-175222679–nba.html

My apologies for the delay in posting a recap for the Superbowl but the last few weeks for me have gone like this…Cold, Norwalk Virus, Cold, Jamaica (which is absolutely awesome by the way-if you are looking for a clean, friendly and hot place to go in the Caribbean I recommend no other), semi-Cold, Wife Sick. Nonetheless, it has always been my intention to do a Superbowl Recap, so alas here is the piece.

Unfortunately, my mind is still swimming with the cold virus and island rhythms, so this recap will be in the form of my top 20 thoughts of the game.

20. Where is the Ray Lewis Dance? I know I stated that I was beginning to get tired of Ray Lewis’ me-first antics a couple of weeks ago, but I have never taken offence when someone talks shit (or acts raw) and backs it up. In this case, Ray Lewis has served as the chief catalyst for his team’s improbable playoff run. It is hard to imagine that just a few weeks ago the Ravens closed the season with a 1-4 record. Dance on Ray, dance on.

19. I cannot believe that so many talking heads are taking the 49ers to win this game with the spread. Not only that, but so many of them picked the 49ers to soundly defeat the Ravens. As I wrote in my previous entry, at worst this game is a pick-em game, and if you actually look at the game by positions, except for TE, the Ravens best the 49ers on paper. Mix in the fact that Ravens are playing with a three headed must win-no one believed in us-win the last one for Ray motivation monster on their back and I believe the game goes to the Ravens outright and anyone who takes the spread is a damn fool. Money where my mouth is, right here…

18. Q1- Touchdown Anquan Boldin!! 2 thoughts here; First, where has this Anquan Boldin been during the entire regular season??? The man was a ghost all regular season and now he is back playing like his Arizona Cardinal days circa 2007. Second, this was another touchdown grab in which it seems that the only way to pry the ball out of his hands is with the Jaws of Life!! As a Cowboys fan I can tell you that Dex Bryant drops this ball 9 times out of 10. Boldin needs to donate his hands to science after his playing days are done. 7-0 Ravens

17. Q2- Touchdown Dennis Pitta!! Well so much for my theory that the only position in which Baltimore doesn’t have the advantage is TE. Maybe the most underrated story of these playoffs is the work done by Dennis Pitta and the great post-season he is having. 14-3 Ravens

16. Q2- Interception Ed Reed!! There it is, after three playoff games in which he languished in obscurity, the NFL’s best ball hawk comes up with the big pick of his career in one of the Ravens’ two biggest games. I of course am especially thrilled as Easy Ed has made me some serious playoff coin…

15. Q2- Whoaaaaaaaaaaa Fake Field Goal Attempt…that ended in failure. However, I did not mind the decision. San Fran has shown no offensive capabilities to this point, and what a vote of confidence Harbaugh West is giving is squad. Plus, the Ed Reed INT was a free drive, why not take a chance. Ok, I love the move.

SIDE NOTE:  I watched this game at my friend Flem’s house and Flem, who is a die hard 49ers fan spent the entire first quarter trashing Jacoby Jones.

14. Q2-Touchdown Jacoby Jones!! Almost on cue after another one of Flem’s jabs at him, Jacoby Jones catches a deep Flacco bomb for a touchdown. This play is especially memorable as the touchdown was made after Jones fell down after catching the ball, but had the presence of mind to get up and sideways video-game his way into the endzone after the San Fran defender curiously decided to leap frog Jones instead of touching him down. Teddy KGB says, “ Bad Judgment.” 21-3 Ravens

13. HALFTIME SHOW- That Halftime Show was good, but not great. Although Beyonce went back to lip-synching after singing about 3 lines, the show was still decent. And even though I was thoroughly expecting Jay-Z to come out, his absence must all but guarantee a performance by him in New Jersey next year (why is the Superbowl being played in New Jersey next year again?).

12. Q3- At 21-6 this game had eerily seemed similar to San Fran’s comeback against Atlanta a couple weeks ago and if any team not named the Patriots has the ability to score big points in a hurry, its the 49ers. However, just when you thought the comeback was coming, 108 YARD TOUCHDOWN return for who else but Jacoby Jones. As I stated for weeks, even if you split offense and defense evenly between these two teams, special teams is easily in Baltimaore’s favor (especially given how Akers has been kicking) and teams that can dominate in 2 phases of the game usually win ball games. 28-6 Ravens

SIDENOTE-If anyone in the room mentions Jacoby Jones’ name I am pretty sure steam will shoot out of Flem’s ears and urine to evacuate his bladder and into his pants.

SIDENOTE 2- In case, you hadn’t heard the lights went out midway through the 3^rd quarter. Baltimore’s Coach Harbaugh seems pissed and is absolutely tearing a strip out of the NFL official trying to explain the situation to him. Bad Karma Harbaugh East, bad Karma. After about 40 minutes the lights go back on…

11. However, just when you though the rout was on, Touchdown Michael Crabtree!! This drive was classic 49ers-Kapernick football as the 49ers QB finally showed some meaningful mobility, loosened up his offense and tossed a fantastic strike to Michael Crabtree for the score. The game score is still 28-13 so it should still be out of reach right? 28-13 Ravens

10. Q3- After a poor possession by the Ravens, Touchdown Frank Gore! Although it was only a 6 yard run the aforementioned poor possession by the Ravens coupled by an equally poor punt that was returned 32 yards to the Ravens 20 by Ted Ginn Jr. facilitated a relatively easy touchdown drive by the 49ers. At 28-20 there isn’t a person in the building (or watching at home) that thinks the Ravens are winning this game without a fight. If anything, from a momentum perspective, the game is San Fran’s to lose. 28-20 Ravens

9.-Q3- On a possession Baltimore absolutely had to have, Ray Rice goes ahead and fumbles the ball to the red hot 49ers. Ray Rice has been a running back stud for some time now, but it seems like fellow running back stud Adrian Peterson, he has a knack for fumbling the ball at the worst possible time. There was a solid chance that this particular bout of fumblitis would haunt the Ravens all offseason.

8.-Q3- Mercifully San Fran only fanagled a FG out of that turnover. At this point 49ers must be thrilled about two things, the big-time comeback and David Akers remembering how to kick field goals again. 28-23 Ravens

7.-Q4- After an absolutely brutal quarter, the Ravens are relieved with the start of the fourth and are marching strong into 49ers territory. However, despite getting all the way to their opponents 1, the 49ers slammed the door and Baltimore painfully settles for a FG. I’m telling you defense still wins championships (Yes, Peyton Manning it’s true), and that was an impressive stand. 31-23 Ravens

6.-Q4-Unfazed by the deep assault into their own territory, 49ers march 76 yards and cap the drive with a 15 yard Touchdown run by Kapernick! Although I was never a fan of switching tinkering with something that works, the 49ers have proven that the move was schrewed at every level (well, every level except Karma). I will point out that while Smith would not have gotten that razzle dazzle touchdown that Kapernick did, he probably wouldn’t have thrown that Ed Reed pick either. Just saying. Oh and the two point conversion that would have tied the game failed. 31-29 Ravens

5.-Q4- Desperately needing a strike, Baltimore marches down the length of the field on a decent clock killing drive and gets a 38 yard FG. Although it wasn’t the strike Balty was looking for it was enough make it a touchdown-to-win-it game. For a team that prides itself on its defense the Bell was sounding for Ray Lewis and Co. on D. 34-29 Ravens

4.-Q4- On a drive that drove every woman in North America crazy (what with Michael Oher up against it), the 49ers methodically marched up the field, and on the strength of 33 yard run by Frank Gore were sitting on the Baltimore 7 with 4 plays to go. After the first down rush, they had 3 plays from the 5. What happened next? Well just like any great defense does, they rose when it mattered most and absolutely put the kibosh on the 49ers chances to win the game with three big stops from the 5. I know Harbaugh West was wetting his pants because he wanted a holding call in the endzone, but late in games the refs must let players play unless the foul is totally egregious. The alleged infraction was not totally egregious, referees I salute you. No way the Superbowl, or any big game for that matter should be decided on a suspect call like that would have been.

3.-Q4- On a final master stroke, Harbaugh East elected to call a safety in the endzone. The genius in this play was that Baltimore was also instructed to hold all the 49ers players in order to drain as much time off the clock as possible. The effect was that while Harbaugh West nearly blew a gasket that a hold was not called, it would not have matter if a hold was called because the safety would merely be awarded anyway. Who would have thought Defense and Brains won Championships (Again, Peyton Manning take note). 34-31 Ravens

2.-Q4- With only a couple ticks left, the 49ers kickoff and tackle the return man after a decent but not enough return.

Game Over. Ravens Win. 49ers simply ran out of time as without Ngata, the Ravens would have hard pressed to stop anything the way this game was going.

1.-POSTGAME- After a thoroughly entertaining postgame and trophy presentation which saw Jim Nantz refusing to let Ray Lewis hold the microphone, Joe Flacco provided viewers with one of the most entertaining interviews ever. After coming off an extremely difficult year where Flacco was slam by every talking head who wish to challenge his position of being elite (where they at now?), Flacco Deion Sanders and crew an absolute gem of an interview and even joked about all the money he would be making next year (my recap does not do this justice, please go Youtube it for yourself). While I predicted that the Ravens would win the title, I never predicted that a guy so seemingly uncharismatic as Flacco would actually provide some solid and entertaining sound bites (One more time, Peyton Manning take note).

Well it is finally here, after 20 weeks of grueling football actions, two teams are about to meet to see which one is deserving of the NFL’s biggest prize. Usually, the week or two leading up to the Superbowl provide some of the biggest storylines of the year, and without a doubt this year is no exception. From Ray Lewis’ retirement, the PED controversy, President Obama (and Ed Reed)’s concerns over player safety, Joe Flacco’s status as an elite quarterback, how many yards Colin Kapernick goes for and of course, the brother v. Brother anticipation not seen since Cain and Abel, this year’s game definitely has some Super-sized headlines.

However, leaving the hype aside for a moment, there is actually a very interesting matchup that has been set up between these two particular teams. These two teams demonstrate that aside from a couple offensive blips in recent years (New Orleans and Green Bay perhaps the most notable), that defense still paramount in winning championships as both teams pride themselves on their defense, and more specifically their front seven.

Even if these two teams encompass the defensive traits that are present in most championship squads, the question still remains, who will win the big game? While most experts are projecting the 49ers to add to their already impressive collection of Super Bowl trophies, after looking at both of these squads from every perspective imaginable, I maintain that taking the Ravens is the smarter play. Not only do I think the Ravens probably win this game outright, to go against the points in what breaks down on paper to a pick ‘em game would really be a suspect move.

The case for the 49ers is easy, they are a great defensive team, with a great run game, explosive receivers, a great head coach and they were one game away from making the Superbowl last year. Well you know what is funny? The exact same is true of the Baltimore Ravens and in this context alone I do not know how the 49ers can be giving 4 points on a neutral field.

Some try to explain the disparity, by citing the Ravens injury issues and their inconsistency during the regular season as reasons. However, these two points are essentially one in the same in that the losses of Ledarrius Webb, Terrell Suggs and Ray Lewis are the reasons this defensive team faltered as they were missing 3 of their 4 best defensive players (Ed Reed being the only one to play a full season). Furthermore, not only is Ray Lewis, their leader on and off the field, back, but he has summoned the very best out of everyone around him and if you have watch Baltimore during their post season run (3 games on the road), they actually seem to be getting better.

Therefore, while there are certainly other reasons to pick Baltimore-having the quarterback with more playoff experience, the more seasoned NFL coach, better playmakers by position (save for maybe TE), having ever girl in North America who has watched the Blindside pulling for Michael Oher- the Ray Lewis factor is enough of a reason to tip the game in Baltimore’s favour. Again if this were truly a pick ‘em game by Vegas standards, I would take Baltimore. However, because the Vegas bigwigs have seen fit to give Baltimore 4 points, take the gift, take the safe play, and take the Ravens.

PICK: Ravens (+4) OVER 49ers  

BONUS PICK: Will Ed Reed Have an Interception? Yes!-Ed Reed has been incredibly quiet this postseason and is set to be a free agent next season. In 10 playoff games he has 8 picks. DO IT!

GOOD LUCK AND PLEASE GAMBLE RESPONSIBLY!!

Although I have been swamped with work and trip planning (holler Jamaica), it occurred to me that I had not given a recap for the NFC and AFC title games. Since it has been some time since the games, I will try and be brief…

Atlanta loses another home playoff game (YES AGAIN!!)- In a surprise that came to no one outside of the state of Georgia, the Falcons lost yet another home playoff game. Coming into this game the Falcons could not have been more disrespected as the Falcons, the NFC top seed, were actually the underdog despite playing at home (the spread was about 4.5 points). So it was all there for the Falcons, a home game in one of the most loud Dome’s in all of football, playing a lower seed and coming off a shocking, but nonetheless big, playoff win against the Seahawks and in a game where Matty (no)Ice was a chance to really stick it to his detractors by winning the big game. Well, based on that storyline alone given the Falcons history you should be able to predict the result. However, to the Falcons credit they actually had all of the momentum and a big lead early in this one, and every player, even Matty (no) Ice looked good in this one early.

Unfortunately, the worst of things happened to the Falcons and it is what is known in football as the Second Half. After a few defensive adjustments by the 49ers, the Tony Romo Matt Ryan promptly exploded like the Hindenburg and all of Atlanta was left to bare witness to the wreckage, also known as the biggest collapse in NFL playoff history.  It will be some time before the Falcons as a franchise feel this low again (probably not until next year’s divisional matchups), but it is time for some hard soul searching and for all of Atlanta to demand responsibility from the Falcons for this latest fiasco. Some possible changes that immediately help the Falcons include; convincing Tony Gonzalez to stick around for one more season, getting rid of Michael Turner who is far too one-dimensional (and a couple games past washed up), using  the draft as an opportunity to revamp the defense including getting some linebackers that can tackle and giving coach Mike Smith only another year and another debacle before firing him (I am still picking my jaw up off the floor after learning that he was named coach of the year by the Sporting News. Really Sporting News was every other coach in the NFL get disqualified for supplying Lance Armstrong with PEDs or something? Did they collectively beat a bag full of bunnies with belts and dumbbells?? I WANT TO KNOW@@@!!).

On the bright side Atlanta, you’ll always have Matlock…well not really.

Another NFL Golden Boy Bites the Dust- Only a week after the NFL’s overrated and regular season only Crown Jewel bite the dust, the NFL’s other Golden Boy (who is actually aptly rated), got his heart ripped out for the second year in a row (well really every year since 2005). I was lamenting a couple of weeks ago how tiresome I was growing of Ray Lewis’ all about me antics, but Ray, if it ain’t broke don’t fix it. In fact if anything, Ray Lewis has somehow gotten a team that was mediocre only a month ago, into a position where they are only one more win of the Superbowl title. For two weeks in a row, the Ravens hung in there with the NFL’s top two teams not named the 49ers (Sorry Houston and Atlanta, but I guess my perennial disbelief of your squads was all the more justified again after your runs this year). The final test has come for the Ravens, can Ray Lewis rev his team up just enough to win more game and proved to the World what your team can accomplish if provided the right inspiration? Win or lose, the Ravens’ performance over the last couple of weeks is nothing short of amazing and in way it goes much beyond of football. What this team is proving to all haters the world over, is that hope and inspiration are powerful things. Channelled the wrong way you are nothing, maybe mediocre. But channelled the right way, and the most amazing of things can be accomplished. Nothing is impossible. What a great example the Ravens have set and if they win it all, it will go down in history as one of the most inspirational…and again, it goes way beyond football.

My apologies for not posting my recap sooner but it has been a hectic week. In any event, after going 3-0 with my picks I’m hoping you will cut me some slack. Ok enough with self-praise, onto the recap…

HIGHLIGHTS:

The Patriots Deliver: As expected by everyone outside the Houston area, the Patriots throttled the Texans at home and only allowed the score to get respectable once the game was out of reach. Despite Arian Foster pleas for mercy all week, the Patriots trampled the Texans up and down the field on Sunday night at Gillette and seemed to score at will. I don’t think I will ever forget the image of Bill Belichek looking up after the Brady-Vereen score late and barely batting an eyelash, but it goes to show you that the Patriots are still fuming from their loss last year to the Giants in the Superbowl and are in statement game mode the rest of the way. Although the loss of Gronkowski is big, the Patriots seem to play better when players are simply out instead of playing injured. With the Patriots machine rolling like this and Hernandez now at 100%, I doubt they will miss him much.

The Ravens Big Win: Although I expected the Ravens to cover the spread, I had no idea they would shock the world by beating the press-loved Broncos on the road. Although I have pointed out several times this season that the Broncos have not beaten anyone of tremendous significance and/or any team not ravaged by injuries and that Manning was a huge risk given his situation (said this all offseason), it became clear on Saturday that the Broncos didn’t have it. Not only were the Broncos having trouble keeping up with the now-semi healthy Ravens team with Ray Lewis Back, Manning was forced to play with a glove on his hand because they cold was affecting the nerves in his hand due to his medical history (neck injuries and 4 surgeries). Manning has never played well in the playoffs save for the one title won when the Colts were a tremendous underdog and the pressure was off (a career record of 9-11), but this home loss as the number one seed to a depleted Ravens squad has to be one of his top two all time worst playoff outcomes. I am not a professional athlete but if I ever were to become one, I would absolutely want to hire Manning’s “Team”, it would be the first thing I did. This team has managed to get Manning max money, max attention, max media love, max exposure, max EVERYTHING despite the fact that Manning is a loser when it comes to the playoffs and when legends are made (My new rule is that if you are sub .500 in the playoffs you are a loser). His team are able to play GMs, fans, the media and sponsors for fools year in and year out, hell if I ever get famous for anything I want the Manning team to represent me. PERIOD…or whoever represents Channing Tatum or Sam Worthington.

LOWLIGHTS:

Green Bay’s Big Bust- Unlike many in the Sports media like Grantland’s Bill Barnwell (how this guy is paid to go 1-3 I have no idea), I knew Green Bay had next to no shot in this one. The spread was a little freaky, but just to pick, how could you pick against the 49ers right now? Not only that but the 49ers smoked the Packers already once this season, and nothing has fundamentally changed about the Packers all season. No run game, suspect defence, sub-par special teams (including their freightful kicker who has played his last game in Green Bay)…I mean all they have is Rodgers. They are the definition of one dimensional and I am shocked they even managed it this far into the season with their style of ball. In any event, Rodgers as fantastic as Rodgers is he needs a ton of help. Green Bay has basically thrown him to the wolves last two season, so in the offseason they had best make some solid changes and if there draft class isn’t running back, running back, offensive lineman, defensive end, kicker, running back, running back I’ll be pissed, and so should Rogers.

Seahawks Grounded- Although it was a fantastic game too watch, if you have any affiliation to the Seattle Seahwaks, be it fan, player, front office, coach, or other, you have to feel sick to your stomach about the way this game was given away. To give Matty No-Ice a win in a game, in which the Falcons were exploding worse than Both Death Stars combined, how could you not feel sick. I’m sick and I don’t even like the Seahawks.

Anyway, the blunders which accounted for Seattle’s loss are numerous and should be accounted.

First, how in the World does Seattle not take the field goal when they are in Atlanta territory and down only 13-0 in the first half. I know the media heads are thumping their chests and want to let Seattle off the hook by saying that’s what they would do, but that is why they are perennially wrong media heads and not coaches. No way Bill Bellichek, Bill Parcells or Tom Coughlin go for it in that situation. To go for it and make it is great, but it still does not assure you 7 points, if anything it assures you another stupid decision to go for it on 4^th down again on the same drive. However, if you go for it and miss it is a terrible momentum swing in a game you are still in. The latter is of course what happened, and the Falcons promptly capitalize by marching the length of the field and scoring a touchdown. Moronic!

Second, even more moronic (and this is something I actually agree with the talking heads on), is if you are going to go for it, how can you not give it to Marshawn Lynch on one of the two tries on third or fourth down!@ It is absolutely inexcusable!!# Lynch is one of the best backs in the game and has carried your run game all season!! Give him the damn ball!!@@##

Third, although Russell Wilson made enough good plays this season to excuse himself even if this game was a blow out, for him to take that sack at the end of the first half was brutal. The sequence of him getting sacked, and the Seahawks not lining up quick enough to get a play off to try for a field goal or touchdown cost them at least 3 points. In a game decided by 2 points there’s your ball game.

Fourth, after it appears that the Seahawks had found the Falcons ventilation duct and the chain reaction to Matty Ice going 0-4 was inevitable, the Seahawks somehow allowed the Falcons to march down the field with less than a minute and allow them a scoring play. The sequence I am referring to is of course, when Marswhan Lynch scored his suspect and seemingly game winning touchdown (ironically it might have been better if the score did not stand) with less than minute to go. After the score, it looked as though Matt Ryan had been iced, but alas he had been left enough time on the clock to march down the field and put his team in a position to win the game. There are certainly some props that must be given to Matty on this one, but for Seattle’s defense which includes two of the best defensive backs in the game to give up the plays it did down the stretch is inexcusable.

Fifth, that decision to call timeout and try and ice the kicker was brutal. It was almost as brutal as his pathetic rouse to pretend he did not call timeout to ice the kicker. But the decision itself was still pretty brutal. I know there has been no conclusive evidence to say that icing the kicker works or it doesn’t and there are camps for both schools of thought, I however believe I have the solution.

The decision to ice the kicker should be used with great caution and only after a through assessment of the circumstances. If the kicker is rushed onto the field and it is a relatively long field goal, NO ICE should be attempted. If however, the kicker has had plenty of time to assess the situation and the distance is not that long then perhaps an ICE attempt should be warranted. BOOM! Debate over. Like most things in life this boils down to common sense. I don’t know how coaches and talking heads can’t get this right.

In sum, the aforementioned are only 5 of the reasons that contributed to why Seahawks pissed away this game. Any one of them could have blown this game against Matty Ice and his shaky confidence and the Seahawks must now spend all off season thinking “what if”. What if indeed.

PICKS

HOME TEAM IN CAPS

BRONZE PICK

Ravens (+9.5 to +8) OVER PATRIOTS- This pick does not fill me with confidence, but the Ravens have played the Patriots well in their last two meetings and are made up very similarly to the Giants. The last point is especially relevant of course because the Giants are the only team two break the Patriots hearts in the playoffs in their biggest games. With Ray Lewis back anything can happen for the Ravens. I would be scared to give the points AND take the Patriots in this one.

SILVER PICK

PATRIOTS (MONEYLINE) OVER Ravens- Although every girl in North America is going for Michael Oher and the Patriots in this one, the Ravens above everyone know how tough it is to beat the Patriots. The Patriots are in full-on assassin mode, and with a defense that is still beat up it will be tough to overcome. If they had Ladarius Webb and Ed Reed hadn’t looked so bad last week I probably would not be advocating this pick, but it is so tough to go against the Patriots right now even with Ray Lewis playing the way he had and brought the best out of the Ravens. Its tough, but I think the Patriots take this one.

GOLD PICK

San Fran (MONEYLINE) OVER FALCONS- It is hard to think back to the last time a higher seed with a better was an underdog at home, but such is the public’s faith in Matty Ice. Not only that but after the way Kapernick played last week you would be hard pressed to find someone who didn’t think the Falcons were cooked. That being said however,  there is something I don’t trust about the magnitude of the 49ers margin of victory. San Fran has not been a great redzone offense and their defense is surely to have problems containing both Julio Jones and Roddy White. I see a 49ers victory but I am not confident enough to take -3.5 in a road game. As such, I would put a solid amount on the 49ers Moneyline had be happy to win a quarter of my money.

GOOD LUCK THIS WEEK AND PLEASE GAMBLE RESPONSIBLY

My apologies for my sub .500 picks last week, I had no idea Andy Dalton would play worse then the spawn of Mark Sanchez and Brandon Weedon in a playoff game but such is life. As I mentioned in my weekly recap, even though Dalton was doing all he could to lose this game the Bengals were still in it late and had he actually be able to complete a pass 99% of decent QBs make on the reg. via that toss to AJ Green late, this game is likely a W for the Bengals. Alas, due to his incompetant boobery I was dropped to .333 instead of the respectable .667, but lets see if I can make up for it here…

HOME TEAM IN CAPS…

BRONZE PICK

Seahawks (+3) OVER FALCONS- Even with the loss of thier star Defensive Lineman Chris Clemons to a torn ACL, this game is too big for the Seahawks to lose. Although they are known as a “home-team” Seattle has played solid ball away from home of late and at various points throughout the season they have looked like the leagues best team. With no running game the Falcons are going to have to throw, and unfortunately for them are going up against the league’s best secondary. With the Clemons loss the game is prolly a pick ‘em even though I have no faith in the Falcons, but getting points the money must be on the Seahawks.

SILVER PICK

Ravens (+9.5) OVER BRONCOS- If Ray Lewis wasn’t playing I would probably stay away from this one, but with him in (and his obnoxious overkill aside) I must take the points and go with the Ravens. Look, I am not saying the Broncos won’t win this game, but there should be no reason that the Broncos who have not beaten anyone of consequence all season should be getting 9.5 points against a Baltimore team who are better then the Broncos on Special Teams and with Lewis in, on par with them on Defense.

SPICY ACTION BONUS #1: If you are looking to give yourself a heart attack, I would recommend taking Baltimore with the points, but then hedging that bet with a Money line pick of the Broncos. If you put 25 on the Ravens points and 40 on the Broncos moneyline you are covering yourself against every possibility and if the Broncos don’t blow the Ravens out you are sitting pretty. Sure you could be out 15 bucks if the Broncos pull off the upset, but its 15 bucks live a litte.

GOLD PICK

Patriots (MONEYLINE) OVER HOUSTON- You might be asking yourself where the genius in this pick is because New England is at home, for the most part they are finally back to health and they beat down the Texans the last time these two squads met. WELL THAT’S THE POINT, Gold Picks are supposed to be picks you are likely to win. If you put down 150 on the moneyline here you are set to make anywhere from 30-42 bucks. This is the last no brainer game for the Patriots all season (knock wood) and aside from betting against the Dallas Cowboys in a must win game, its probably the safest bet in sports.

SPICY ACTION BONUS #2: PATRIOTS (+9.5) OVER Texans. I am never a huge fan of giving points like this, but this is a statement game for them. They want to win this game as much as possible so that they initidate their likely opponent the Broncos should they have to travel to thier house to play them. If you were to put down 25 on the Patriots spread you are looking at a pay day of about 67 bucks (also playing the Moneyline) should they blow out the Texans. The Texans do have some motivation in this game, but even if they can cover you still make money if the Patriots get the W.

GOOD LUCK AND PLEASE GAMBLE RESPONSIBLY